Hey so i need some help i’m gonna make this short and sweet and get to the point me(F19) and my boyfriend (M19) have been together 9 months and it’s been great only thing is i don’t get post or get flowers unless I tell him then when it happens it feels not genuine, but it won’t happen unless I do. We just had an talk and I told him I was unhappy not the whole time just recently seeing tik toks and couples posting I get upset because it feel like boys should know to get their girlfriends flower or i’ll see tik toks where boyfriends show off their girlfriends or make tik toks with him but he doesn’t like anything picture or video because “it’s just not him” and when we do, do videos or pictures he complains a lot first or just like wont really pay attention so it’s getting harder on me. He says he feels like he’s doing enough because he picks me up from my house everytime we hangout, he’ll take me to basketball games with his family, or invite me to dinner, and get me flowers on special occasions. I’m a person who loves to give gifts and to receive them randomly no matter the occasion and i’ve told him that, also that i love to record and take a picture of everything. so it’s really hard idk if this can be fixed or if we’re just completely different 🙁
tl;dr: we really love eachother and I know we wanna fix this so what do I do.
2 comments
maybe see if you guys can come up with a compromise and work together. For instance, you both take turns maybe every other week or once a month to plan a romantic date or do a fun activity together. Sometimes, some guys aren’t the most romantic (like the ones on tiktok) or don’t have a clue so we’ll have to tell them what we want. But I also get it, it’s hard not to compare what we see online and also want the same thing for our own relationship as well. Just know that he probably is trying the way he knows how, and know that the little things he does counts too. Keep working at the relationship together, and wish you the best!
He needs to learn to love you in your love language. If gifts/ surprise make you feel loved & cared about, he should respect that. If he doesn’t understand/ respect that, maybe he’s too immature for a romantic relationship. Start with that conversation.
But also: Are you loving him in his love language? Relationships are a two-way street.