1:
When we first started talking to each other 2 years ago, we discussed our uni experiences, etc. and later on kind of bonded over the fact that we both had a shitty time at university. He told me his mental health got so bad at one point that he had to take a break, but then went back and finished uni. I have a transport/logistics degree, he did geography.
The topic of university/having a degree came up recently, as my boyfriend is looking for a new job. He told me the same story about uni.
Last week, I was looking at flight tickets for our upcoming trip on his phone. I started typing into Google, and something weird came up in his search bar history. It said “can you finish university without graduating”.
So I asked him about it. He broke down and told me he never actually graduated. He apologised over and over and over again. He said he was ashamed of it, that’s why he lied. I was very understanding… I’ve dealt with mental health issues myself. I would certainly never think less of anyone for not having a degree!! 99% of my family doesn’t, so what! We had a really nice talk that day & I felt closer to him.
2:
We were video chatting today. He moved back to his parents’ house not long ago… and I notice that their living room looks scary similar to the living room in my bf’s old place, a house that he owned himself.
When we first started getting to know each other, the country was in lockdown. I never actually saw this place.
Sure enough, I find an old photo he sent of “his” living room. It’s the exact same one. I even asked about the odd decor at the time (not fitting his age!), he told me his parents gave him all that furniture as it no longer fit in their house.
So I asked about it… he sent me several texts and voice notes.
He keeps saying he was stupid, he’s very sorry, he doesn’t know why he did what he did, there’s no justification for it, etc. and that he loves me and doesn’t wanna lose me.
I’m so confused. The university thing… I kind of understand. But now I’m not even sure if he actually owned a house at all. Why lie about something like that? Why pretend your parents’ living room is your own??
1 comment
>But now I’m not even sure if he actually owned a house at all.
… Really?
Your boyfriend clearly never owned a house, and the most likely reasoning for lying about it is the same as for when he lied about graduating with a university degree: He is not happy with who he is would rather lie to other people about it than confront the, to him, uncomfortable facts.
“*Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me*,” as they say. You gave your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt when you caught him in his first lie. Are you going to do the same with the second? And if yes, what will you do when a third lie reveals itself?