I’ve (26M) been thinking about hooking up with a friend (22F) I’ve known for years. I don’t want to start a relationship with her cause I’ll be leaving in the near future. I want to be respectful and honest about my intentions. I’ve never done this and I’ve only ever had sex once in my life. I’m not sure if I should take her to a nice bar and we can talk about their or if I should just straight up ask her. Your help is much appreciated.
tl;dr I wasn’t to know the best way to ask a friend for a hook up
10 comments
>I want to be respectful and honest about my intentions.
“hey, I’m just going to be completely honest. I want to hook up with you, just for fun, no strings attached.” There you go.
I think its best for people to be straight up and honest. It might be a bit jarring for this to be a random text, but I’ll leave that up to you.
I once had a platonic male best friend propose this to me over a decade ago and we haven’t spoken since.
She’s your friend, and you basically just want to use her for sex. That’s not a wonderful way to treat a friend IMO
oh go ahead and ask her.
Any way you ask, you risk losing your friendship with her.
I think you should respect your so-called friend and not proposition her for sex.
So she’s not really your friend. You’re one of those creeps that hangs around and pretends to be her friend in the hopes that one day she’ll fuck you. That’s disgusting. And as a woman, honestly I’ve been very deeply hurt by male “friends” doing this to me. If she was into you, something would have happened by now. She’s not into you.
Be honest with yourself. You don’t care about her as a friend. You want to use her for sex and drop her when you move.
I was thinking off taking her to a upscale bar in the downtown area and asking her their. Not to get her drunk and just slip it in, but that’s really all I could think off. I didn’t know where else to go
I suppose in some situations being this blunt could work but frankly you are not smooth enough to pull it off. Asking her for sex straight up out of the blue is going to look so desperate and unattractive- I say this as someone who has a lot of casual sex! I truly can’t think of anything less appealing than someone just putting that on the table like a business proposition. To me that says “I’m horny but I have no game and instead of developing better social skills I’m going to ask you to fuck me as a favor.” I know you don’t think of it that way but it doesn’t sound like you have much to offer her- what exactly does she stand to gain from this experience? Is she even attracted to you at all?
Please please PLEASE just be normal about this and ask her if she’d like to go out on a date. Then see if things are clicking on the date and then BEFORE any clothes come off you tell her you’re not looking for anything serious. You are putting the cart before the horse here in a big way and it is honestly excruciating just to read this and imagine it.
I’d say hang out with her again first to feel the vibes! If there’s any sexual tension you’ll know. Don’t go in with any expectations and just have fun with your friend. Get a drink or something. Follow her lead because if it’s going to happen it will.
Let me just say that there’s a high likelihood that she will be upset by this. It can be exhausting as a woman when you invest emotional energy in a friendship, and then the guy just wanted to fuck you the whole time. I had a close guy friend in college who made it weird with me and our other female roommate, and neither of us speak to him anymore.
Do you have any reason at all to think she would WANT to have sex with you?