I’ve never broken up with anyone before or even experienced a break up so I have no idea how to handle this.
I (22f) always stay at his (23m) so I was thinking that I’ll go to his at the weekend, say my peace and then just leave? Do I just walk in the door, say I want to talk, break up and leave? What if he’s crying, am I meant to comfort him first?
I know he’ll do anything to convince me to not leave him and not leave literally so I’d need to leave almost immediately but god, the guilt I’d feel. How do people do this?
We’ve been together for years so it’s a huge deal, I don’t know what I’m meant to do. Any advice will help, I’m so clueless.
TLDR: No idea how to break up w my bf, help pls
6 comments
I think you can just show up and talk at the door. Then after you’ve broken up with him, say I’m sorry and leave. That way you’re not stuck in his house.
Meet in a PUBLIC PLACE. Say your peace. Give him time to ask questions. Answer what you’re comfortable answering. Leave and go no contact.
“I know he’ll do anything to convince me.” — Before breaking up, I assume you’ve talked through your issues enough to decide they’re unsolvable? Your fear he’ll talk you out of it makes me ask! The breakup / makeup cycle isn’t a good one.
Basically just do it quick and then leave. You don’t need to comfort him, it could send mixed signals. Think of it like ripping off a bandaid.
OP, call him. Meet somewhere public if he wants to talk more and you think it’s a good idea, but tell him over the phone that the relationship is over. No unnecessary travel or awkward logistics or suspense; you know you want to end it so tell him right now.
And no, it’s probably not a good idea for you to comfort him. Be kind—you don’t need to detail everything you’ve ever disliked about him—but recognize that you’re not his person anymore, and that’s by your choice, and he’s going to have to deal with that change without you. That’s kind of the whole point.
Say what you need to say, give him opportunity to respond and ask questions but if/when he starts to repeat himself or beg, that’s when you stand your ground and tell him you’re gonna go. Let his friends/loved ones be his support through this, you shouldn’t be fulfilling that role for him.
Meet in public. But also make sure you get all the things that are important to you out of his place. Photos, blankets. You don’t want him to hold them hostage.
It’s gonna burn for both of y’all, but you deserve happiness and peace in your life.
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