Me (19F) and my now ex bf (19M) have been friends for three years and we met during school. He’s known for being very sweet and genuinely a good guy, all our mutuals agrees with this. We hanged out one on one and quickly developed a mutual crush for each other. After two weeks we started dating and it was great. We went on dates frequently, had great conversations and got along really well.
Since I’m not a fan of PDA he asked if we could book a hotel together and whilst we didn’t have sex we pretty much covered all the bases and showered together afterwards. This was completely consensual and was a genuinely fun time. 3 days after booking a hotel we had a date where we just played cards for hours and it was very cute and wholesome. The day after he broke up with me.
This was by text and he couldn’t call since it was the middle of night. He said that he’s sorry for rushing into things and that he can only see me as a friend. Later he said that I’ve been the perfect girlfriend, it’s just that he can’t feel it. The text message he sent felt very impersonal, legit it looked like something off wikihow and whilst I was asking questions and explaining how I felt he was just agreeing and apologising, giving me no closure basically.
I feel used and violated. He was my first for pretty much everything and he knew that very well. It also makes me upset and confused. Whilst I was thinking we were having the time of our lives, he was second guessing everything. He made all the first moves and literally 12 hours before the breakup he was talking about having study dates well into the future, going to his badminton games, moving into his apartment when he gets one etc
I don’t understand how someone could change their minds so quickly.
From the perspective of men, what went wrong?
I don’t want to talk to him more about it since I feel like I need to cut him off for a bit. What’s your advice?
1 comment
Sounds like you both had communication problems