My 22M boyfriend is a month into his apprenticeship and working 10 hour days, waking up at 5am, bed by 9pm (though often later), and still making time to come see me some nights a week even though we’re 30 mins apart. He’s exhausted physically and mentally and I want to help him figure out how to relax and make him a little relaxation package. What makes YOU feel relaxed? Is there anything your significant other does that you appreciate a lot? Do you do anything specific to feel reconnected to yourself? Thanks in advance 🙂
Edit: except obviously sex. We’re fine there but he’s super tired so we’re doing that less while we figure it out and adapt.
30 comments
You’re going to get a lot of messages here with two letters in them.
Those letters are B and…
Weed and wap
In all honesty tho. Just be supportive and maybe some flintstone vitamins until he can handle it
I worked very long shifts building ships and also doing construction. Long, hot summer days.
Genuinely, all I wanted when I got home was a protein heavy meal, an ice cold beer, and to sit in a recliner or lay down in bed.
Many men in the comments here may suggest something sexual, but realistically, when you’re that tired, you just wanna do nothing.
First thing I want to do when I get home is immediately get out of my dirty clothes and clean up, if he is working full days then driving to see you chances are he feels fuckin gross by the time he gets there. If you can meet him at the door, help him put away his gear and get him into a shower while he vents out his day he’d likely appreciate the hell out of it
most of us are crippling alcoholics and stress eaters as a result of malpractice, work conditions are poor, wages aren’t good, hence why we all develop crippling arthritis and have a heart attack at like 60.
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I’m self employed so I’m not affected by any of this, but most of my colleagues are absolute morons, all the employers also got a horrible attitude of ‘young people don’t want to work no mo’ even though the reason no one wants to work these jobs is because they’re awful.
>10 hour days, waking up at 5am, bed by 9pm
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>He’s exhausted physically and mentally
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sounds extremely unreasonable, has he considered doing more seasonable hours with a more natural schedule?
That is just a normal work schedule. If he’s struggling working a normal job schedule at such a young age I’d tell him to go do the doctor and get blood work done. He doesnt sound healthy.
Good food and a back rub does wonders!
I want to get clean, shower or bath, and a bit of solid food after that.
Cuddles with the kids and a bit of playing before their bed time.
Scotch and a blowjob.
I like space.
Let him know it’s ok if he wants some time to unwind, relax, etc.
I work 8-6 some days and after that, I want to just eat, play some video games, watch some YouTube and go to bed. Sometimes I’ll tell my girlfriend I’m too tired to hang out.
If there’s something he can do that avoids any stress/pressure for him, he should do that some days.
Taking my boots off and rubbing my feet on a carpet mat Ive tried different textures by far most relaxing thing for the feet
Honestly all i’d want to do after working all day is sit down and mindlessly watch tv until i fall asleep. A care package would be a nice thought and he’d really appreciate it but i dont think it’d be too useful
First: He started a month ago so off course he’s exhausted. It takes some time to get used to being physically active all day long, especially with such long days. On top that of being an apprentice is exhausting. I remember that I was completely drained when I just started my job
I can’t say what will help him relax because I don’t know him but I’m pretty sure that it will get better over time when his body and mind adjust to the conditions.
Get off at 2, unless working overtime. Before I even enter my car I put a fresh t shirt on and and take my boots off and put my slippers on. Drive home, leave jeans outside on porch. Take a shower, and see what I’m going to eat.
If I have a tough day at work I go to my parents and talk to my parents because I’m very close to them and don’t live far.
When I was younger (early 20’s) I’d hustle at work, go to a bar till 2am and wake up at 4am and repeat. I’d sweat out the hangover. Now I pretty much don’t drink on weekdays anymore and try and be in bed by 8pm at the latest. Prefer getting 9/10 hours of sleep at night.
Painting minis, chat with pals on discord. Aside from occasionally visiting family I don’t need any more than that.
I get home, feed the animals, chill on the deck and decompress for about an hour, maybe smoking a bowl and playing my guitar. I’ll make a good dinner, shower and go to bed.
It’s not glamorous, but it’s all I’ve got.
Im a big advocate for baths. Shower off the grime and then have a hot epson salt bath helps my sore muscles, and i have a copd beer in there too.
Offer to rub his back for him, that is a big one
Not sure if this helps but One thing I noticed was that I was usually only too tired for sex after getting home if I ate. Before dinner was always the best time and it’s better to just keep going when you get home, as soon as you relax that’s it for the day. Best routine is to get home take a shower immediately and do any chores you have and sex before ever getting in a relaxed mode
Sometimes its as simple as cracking open a cold one for him, throwing on his favorite TV show, and just allowing him to relax. A simple “how was your day” is fine, but if he seems kind of grumpy or short in answering it, know that it’s not you and he just needs to decompress before talking (my roommate, while not my romantic partner, doesn’t seem to understand this; I work labour and he works from home on his computer all day. I’m running crews and dealing with clients while he is isolated from other humans and won’t LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE for an hour when I get home).
People who don’t work hard labour often don’t understand how taxing it is on the body *and* mind. There’s a reason a lot of blue collar workers have trouble taking the white-collars seriously when the white-collars complain about their jobs.
By the sounds of it, he’s making the effort to come and see you despite the tiredness, and you’re making the effort to understand that he doesn’t have the energy to give you all of himself during these after-work hangs, and that seems like a pretty healthy dynamic. It shows that each of you is trying to meet each other’s needs to the best of your abilities.
Apprenticeships are tough, and blue collar work often comes with crunch times when the hours are long and the work is particularly taxing. If years pass by and you notice he’s not slowing down and taking breaks, however, there might come a time when you seriously needs to talk to him about work-life balance. I’ve met too many labourers who gave *everything* to their jobs, “workaholism” is very real, and a lot of blue-collar men see their jobs and ability to work WAY too hard as a crucial component of their masculinity and are unable to untangle themselves from that lifestyle, and jobsite culture fosters this attitude in a pretty toxic way sometimes (basically, they feel like less of a man if they’re not working 50 – 60 hour weeks and breaking their bodies for that paycheque).
Taking a long shower to wash the day off of you. Splurge on a nice bathrobe, and house shoes. Find your favorite smells, and have them within arms reach of your lounge area. Watch old reruns of your fav show.(For me, its Trailer Park Boys, Futurama, Reno 911). And if possible, dont allow that time to be interrupted. Allow yourself an hour or 2 a day to decompress.
My wife has an ice cold water for me when I walk in the door , she’s also usually wearing booty shorts looking real sexy . Lucky for me around that time she’s finishing up dinner ( if I don’t pick up dinner on way home or it’s not date night ). My wife also knows I need a few minutes to unwind before getting into conversation about the day , she doesn’t get offended if I don’t feel like talking because it might’ve been a fucked up day ( welding in 110* weather or stress because of a project ) . For me I usually smoke 1/2 a Joint as soon as I remove work boots and filthy cloths to chill TF out . Now that we have an infant boy the relaxation time is almost gone lol . But just seeing his little smile and seeing momma happy in her element makes me happy and relaxed 🤙 I know a lot of people in the trades that drink as soon as the shift is over before they even head home … even worse drinking tall cans on the way home . Not to mention the other hard drugs they use to get through the day or relax. Talk to those same dudes and they’re almost always in failing relationships and also always messing up at work . Being in the trades can be rough but I think the best thing you can do for him is just make sure he’s as comfortable / relaxed as possible . Show him love and care and hopefully he will show you the same !
It’s going to sound counterproductive, but don’t sit down and try to relax. If I get home, Crack a beer and hop on the Xbox, I feel significantly more tired than if I come home, take time to decompress, then go through my workout, walk the dog, and handle a chore or two.
When I get home I like to get in the shower to wash the day off, grab a beer or whisky and and decompress for about 30 minutes. Hang out with the dogs play some video games. Go to the gym and than hang out with my wife when she is done with work
idk those shifts seem weird to me 5am to 9pm????
and that as apprentice where you prob get paid fuck all
Eat half a kilo of sugar straight out of the packet.
Depending on your relationship and if he doesn’t have a good pair of boots, get him a certificate towards a GOOD pair. It’s unbelievable how much better a good pair of boots can take the strain off your body at the end of the day. He’s spending more time of his day on his feet than ANYWHERE else.Assuming that he has some cheaper pair as his first like I and many others, this will go a very long way in his energy and mood at the end of the day.
Myself and most guys I know smoke a bowl. Helps with the aches and the stress.
I masturbate
Back when i was doing hardwood flooring id maybe play xbox for an hour after work then lay down with the tv on. That was all i had time to do pretty much.