Technically I was the side piece in a “relationship” and he confessed he had a girlfriend the entire 3 weeks of meeting with me and then proceeded to ask if I wanted to be friends with benefits. After hearing this, I was utterly disgusted and felt terrible for his girlfriend who probably had no idea that he was cheating. This was also after meeting someone who turned out to have a wife which I found out the day that I met him (luckily both sexual had happened and I immediately stopped interacting with him)
Since these stacked incidents, I’ve started to have no romantic response or sexual arousal with men and I’m a bit nervous that it’s going to stay that way. I understand that not everyone will cheat, but it’s almost like an irrational fear has grown which has shut me down from being open to date.
How do I get rid of these fears?
3 comments
Typo? I think you meant to say nothing sexual happened and you stopped talking to the married man?
And I’m guessing you stopped talking to the guy with a girlfriend.
If so, good job on maintaining your boundaries.
As far as getting rid of these fears, is it a fear or just something you worry about when you think about it? Or are you concerned that you won’t be attracted to males or concerned that you’ll be single for longer than you’d like?
I think it’s important to be able to define/tell yourself what is your biggest concern. Then consider what’s the worst that could happen if you did date men again and what would happen if you didn’t date men for 5 years. And decide which decision you’d rather live out.
People also may give you $10,000.
Don’t put out until you see consistent effort over a longer period of time. The people that are screwing around won’t be able to keep it up for that long and they will dip if they are not getting quick sex. You’re welcome.