TL;DR
In a situationship with this girl, we’ve been seeing each other for 4-5 months for about 8-9 occasions/dates now, she lives an hour away, is about to move another hour away for certain, we both like each other definitely, but idk if we love each other though, what do I do?
TL;DR (slightly more in depth than above but still simplified):
In a situationship with this girl I’ve been seeing for 4-5 months about 8-9 times so far, we like each other enough to go out when we get the chance, we both like each others company, also the s.. life is good too, we both are happy in that area. She’s an hour away and is moving another hour away in about a month (it’s inevitable, I met her parents and siblings and been inside her place twice to know it’s truly about her family and financial situation, I offered her to move in with me but she respectfully declined, one reason mainly because her parents rely on her, which I also know for fact) We verbally agreed to be in a relationship about a month ago, but by definition be aren’t in one right now because we’ve both spoken to other people in the recent time, which I’m not mad about because we DO live an hour away, we can’t see each other all the time, and we’re human. But, I’m wondering what the best thing to do currently is. What I want to do is sit down with her and have an honest conversation about what we want to do, what we want to be, what our status will be when she moves an hour away. I’m okay with leaving the bridge between her and I standing in case we cross paths or are interested in trying again sometime in the future. It’s fair to bring this up to her, right? I just hope I’m not handling the situation wrong.
Full post:
I’m not one to come on here..
But I feel like I wanna hear some different perspectives and advice, so please feel free to share your honest and raw thoughts
So, this girl (20f) and I (24m) have been talking for a few months now
We’ve met up ehh probably 8-9 times at least so far, and on 4 of those occasions, we’ve mutually and consensually had … .
I believe it was the 2nd or 3rd time we met up, but it’s a bit complicated but we basically decided to become exclusive to each other, you could call it getting together
In terms of actually being in a relationship at that point, but up to this point it’s fell to sort of texting everyday and still seeing each other now and then.
We live an hour apart, that’s why we can’t see each other as much. Also only I have a car and it’s a bit older so I don’t wanna go back and forth as much so I don’t wear it down as much.
I’m 100% certain she’s spoke with other guys in the time we’ve been “together” (pls don’t ask how to save both of us time, I already know and it’s not a dealbreaker for me or anything) or whatever, and I have also spoke with other women while we’ve been together.
It’s just that I’m not as sure if she’s “the one”. I’ve happily been the one who always goes to see her, and the one who pays for anything on dates, except two times where she insisted. Which was nice. But not necessary, because I see it as my basic duty to be the main one paying. But it was nice. I also sent her her food and fruit a few times via uber eats or services that deliver groceries. Anyways,
The thing is, she’s moving another hour away (once she’s moved, it’ll be two hours) pretty soon, like in about a month. It’s because of family, money, and she’ll have a much better living situation there. I already brought up living together, she respectfully declined, also she said her parents and family depend on her, which I know is true because I’ve met both her parents and her siblings and I understand the situation.
We definitely can’t be in an actual, real relationship with that distance. Apparently other people could do long distance, I can’t. She also isn’t sure about even potentially doing that.
I enjoy the time with her, but I refuse to try to lead things on just for my own benefit. I’m not that type of guy. I would feel nasty and pretty disgusting.
At the same time, I know she enjoys me, too. She thinks I’m good looking (I know I’m definitely not bad looking to say the least, even if I’m not extremely handsome), I pay for things, I give her attention, she can talk to me and trust me, open up to me, I’m a shoulder to cry on for her, I tell her about things she doesn’t know about, like life skills or knowledge, about interesting things I know about or just my own experiences, I take her out, she also likes and enjoys the … , to name things off the top of my head
What I want to do is just sit down with her, talk about things, open and honestly, and figure out where we are, where each of us stand, what we want to do or what sort of status we want to have the rest of the month, and if we want to keep the bridge standing between us just in case in the future we might be single at the same time and be interested in seeing if we could make it work or not.
Does that sound like a fair thing to do? Am I ruining anything by doing this? I think it’s best for the long run to do this
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