constantly nervous and embarrassed

Lately no matter what I do to improve my life, making friends just taking care of myself, sticking to a schedule, work, school, etc. I feel so down.

Idk if it’s depression because I get out of bed and I still look forward to things but sometimes I feel that no matter what this feeling of being an embarrassment is never gonna go away. It’s like in order to do what I have to do to be a functional person I have to just not care what anybody thinks but I care so much on the inside. Every little thing I do I wanna apologize for. I find it hard just to say Hi sometimes cause I don’t wanna be a bother. I can get so worked up and I feel like such a cry baby?? I feel like I’m not good for anything, even the things I enjoy.

It’s lonely cause i feel like it will stay the same no matter what I do or who I talk to like making new friends, which is probably why I don’t really have any close friends. I don’t even know what to do or how to stop worrying all the time.
Everything is humiliating 🙁