I dont want to come off as unloyal to my friends but sometimes their businesswith that individual had nothing to do with me.
I have 3 friends who have beef with another person i am also friends with.
They explain the bad things they did to the other person and I dont know how to handle it. They are venting but i dont feel like I can make a solid judgment as Ive only seen a good side. is it really okay to be friends with another just because they didnt do anything to you personally?
(I am also very gullible to a change of heart. If a person shows they are good despite their undoings or truly striving to be better i like to give them a chance)
7 comments
It depends if its worth losing the friendship with your friend over it. It depends if you’re okay being friends with the kind of person that does that to other people. People are going to judge you for being friendly with someone who does things like that to other people too, guilty by association.
One of my major pet peeves in a “friendship” is when people “choose sides” or tell me to “choose a side.” Spend time with those you want to spend time with. If anyone has a problem with who you’re taking time out of your busy schedule to associate with, that’s their problem.
If 3 people share equally terrible experiences with one person I would believe those 3 people. That one friend hadn’t been bad to you YET but he might be one day. Ultimately it’s your choice but I wouldn’t be surprised if those 3 will cut you off later in life for supporting someone who hurt them. I don’t know the exact details though. More details on what that one friend did might be useful.
Ive beefed with someone in the same way. Made me mistrustful towards the other friends who were in the middle of it. Made the whole releationship between the whole group pretty unstable. Those who were in the middle did absolutely nothing about it. Me and the beefer still dont get along but we both hang out with the same group. Took some time to understand that the ones who get along to the other side aswell dont sabotage neither of the side. Nor are they sided with the beef. And I have to admit we both beefers tried to win over others. Neither prevailed. In your case it seems like 3vs1 + 1 in the middle. Difficult situation. Best advice I could give is just leave it be. Have nothing to do with it. Perhaps if one side decides to make peace then you can be the support. Avoid negative conversations about both side with both and you’re in the clear. Beefing and war is natural part of life. But so is making peace. Give it some time, maybe things will change, maybe it wont. But dont poke the topic if you dont have any “reasoning” to add into it.
It also depends on the reason why they are enemies, something small and petty – I think you can be friends. If it’s something major like a serious betrayal where one has done something terrible to the other by not choosing you have picked your side.
No, loyalty is important. Choose a side, you don’t have to hate on them, but if you ever want authentic friends, you have to choose a side.
Everyone’s a bad guy in somebody’s story. Everyone’s a gr8 guy in somebody else’s story. So-