Want to have sex but scared getting pregnant

13 comments

1. If you don’t feel comfortable only using condoms (which is fair enough) you should use another method of birth control alongside it. Make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your options. If you’re not able to safely go to a doctor’s appointment on your own and obtain contraception, it’s probably not the right time to engage in any sexual activity that could result in pregnancy.

2. My wife was on birth control and we still used condoms for 6 years, until we were ready to get pregnant

3. It’s good that you think about safety, but don’t let it get in the way of enjoying yourselves, there are options.
   Where do you live? Is it possible for you to also use contraceptive? Multiple layers of protection might help you feel safer.

   Now, this anecdote is not something you should take to heart. But, me and my partner used zero protection for six years, and then when we decided to have children we succeeded the first month.
   If you use a condom and also pull out, the risk should not be that big. And plan b pills are also available.

4. If you want to use a safer method but are worried that information will show up on your parents insurance you can check with the insurance company; in most states (US) you can choose to not have information about contraception show up on statements.

   Depending on your parents background you could also choose to talk to them; you might be surprised that they are not so strict as you think. They know what happens in the real world (and what they and their friends did before marriage). They or their friends will have a family member who got pregnant at a very young age. Only you can judge this but my experience is that people may say one thing when it’s just abstract, but their position is very different when it’s someone they care about.

5. Spermicide, condom, perhaps birth control IF you feel comfortable and have weighed the risks (since you’re in a committed relationship). But the health risks involved, I’d wager that a condom and spermicide will be quite adequate, and your doctor really should weigh in regarding iud/the pill and other methods. A condom‘s a great adjunct option. And I agree with another commenter, enjoy yourselves. With a doctor’s opinion, there’s no reason that this can’t be one of the most enjoyable times in your life. Cheers

6. It doesn’t sound weird and it’s good you’re being careful. If you speak to a doctor or medical professional ,there are various options

7. It’s not at all weird to worry about your risks of getting pregnant. It’s actually very smart to worry about your risks of getting pregnant. It’s also very smart for you and your boyfriend to think about birth control before you have sex.

   The only birth control methods that are 100% effective are abstinence and outercourse. You can’t have sex with some risk of pregnancy, You can reach 99.99% effectiveness by using two birth control methods together instead of one birth control method alone. [The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_buddy_system_effectiveness_rates_for_backing_up_your_birth_control_with_a_)

   You can find more information about birth control in the r/sex FAQ, in the r/birthcontrol sub, on the Planned Parenthood website and on the Scarleteen website. You can also find a lot of advice and information for first times by searching r/sex for “first time” and “virgin”,

8. You’re smart to be concerned about that. I was a failed condom baby, lol. If I recall correctly something like 10-20% of couples who only use condoms end up with a pregnancy within a year.

   If you’re not comfortable with that, but you’re comfortable with a smaller risk, then use condoms *and* birth control meds.

   Or condoms and anal.

   Or condoms and IUD.

9. Take it in the ass.

10. Two methods combined effectiveness. Like pill+ condom. Or pull out + condom. Effectiveness is multiplicative, so if the odds of getting pregnant from condom is like 1% and odds of getting pregnant on pill is 3% (or whatever), odds of getting pregnant using both is .01x.03=.0003, or it’s 99.97% effective.

11. The combination pill is very effective. You can go to a MinuteClinic at CVS and get Birth Control. Or if you have social anxiety, I have personally used Nurx, an online service, and it works great.

12. Condoms are very, very effective. Not 100% (nothing is) but still very good. They have a “typical use” rating of 85%, which means that if 100 couples use condoms as their only form of birth control about 15 of them will have a pregnancy each year. Almost all of those 15 will be couples that “forgot to use one” once in a while, or that didn’t use them correctly. If you are one of the couples who actually use them correctly, the rating goes up to 98% (meaning you have a 2% chance per year of getting pregnant).

    You can also use a condom correctly (2% chance per year) AND another method, such as ovulating timing or withdrawl. Those are both free. If you can swing a doctors visit, you can use condoms with an IUD (1% chance of failure each year – meaning if you use both condoms and an IUD your chance of a pregnancy goes down to about 0.02% per year, or one pregnancy every 50 years on average). Or, you can get on the pill, or get a shot from a doctor.

    Long story short, there are plenty of very good ways to prevent pregnancy these days. Some are cheap and east and others need a doctor, but most are good.

13. The injection the implant and the coil are very reliable if you can tolerate the side effects, the pill is very effective but only if you take it perfectly (it’s easy to do with an app reminder and be mindful of when you are ill) you could combine those with a spermicide and yes condoms if you both agree to that. Or you can avoid piv and stick to oral/anal/using hands