Women who has given birth what’s something you wish you did different?

10 comments

1. First go round I wish I was more empowered and informed. It was awhile back and all the information at that time was just to rely on the doctors and nurses. I didn’t even know you could write a birth plan or dismiss a nurse you weren’t vibing with.
   As a result I had a dreadfully long back labor, no one listened to me. I was forced to labor on my back getting no relief or rest.

   I did all of that mess just to have a C-section

   Second time I think would have been better. I had a different partner. He was a lot more aware and into the whole thing.
   This time I had a planned C-section.
   The whole thing went smoothly and I had an instant baby without a lot of pain.
   Sometimes I feel like I should have done the labor thing with her.

2. I had to have an emergency csection because my baby was too big & wasn’t moving down the birth canal. I was in labor 17hrs before my son was born. I wish I’d opted for a csection in the beginning because it was awful. He was healthy at 9lbs 5oz though.

3. I wish I hadn’t told the nurses I was having a silent labor. Once they found out they treated me like shit and didn’t listen to anything I had to say or answer my questions. My doctor didn’t even show up to the birth because she didn’t feel a sense of urgency until it was too late. Frankly it almost felt as if I wasn’t there to have a baby like everyone else in the maternity ward

4. I wish that I didn’t attempt an induction. I was 1.5 weeks last my due date and decided to *try* inducing labor medically because I was getting impatient. None of the natural remedies were working, and I wanted the baby OUT.

   After 4 days of being on various medications and hooked up to monitors, nothing worked. I went in on a Tuesday at 1.5 inches dilated and Friday before my c-section I was 2 inches. It was such a waste of time, money, and so emotionally draining.

   I’m always gonna wonder if my body just needed a few more days to get ready.

5. I’d have been more assertive about who was allowed to visit and when. I’d have not worried about pleasing anyone else or coming off as rude.

6. I wish I’d been prepared in any way at all. Bub came early, my labour and childbirth books all arrived from Book Depository the day after he was born.

   Also, I wish I hadn’t travelled during my pregnancy.

7. I wish that I had put epidural in my birthplan and I would have seriously considered hiring a doula.

8. I would have been more insistent that my husband actually stay home a full week after the birth of my first…like we’d PLANNED. Instead work called and he answered..he was still in the 3 month probation period, and feared getting fired if he didn’t go. While we relied on his pay, I had no idea what I was doing, and needed help.

9. I wish I’d paid more attention to medication-free methods of pain management. My epidural only came at 10min to midnight and then very quickly failed, and I was entirely unprepared.

10. Honestly I wish I hadn’t at all.

    It was quite horrible and I ended up with pospartum preeclampsia, Postpartum depression, and I wasn’t allowed a c section request until after 4 hours of straight pushing and 2 epidurals- 1 failed (baby was lodged at an odd angle and larger than they anticipated) then waited another several hours for an OR. If they had let me I could have requested it ahead of time and saved myself a bunch of after effects and other issues I dealt with in addition to the ones stated. It took 2 extended hospital stays which also affected milk production.

    I have my own separate feelings about not wanting to have kids to begin with but the whole birthing process was ridiculous. I almost died twice. I just wish my doctors had been more on top of how my son’s size could affect delivery and had planned accordingly. As a first time mom it was hard to know and plan for that stuff. I should have asked to schedule the c section from the beginning, or at least pushed for one. I should have also been more assertive with all the symptoms afterward. They didn’t believe the headaches and discharged me. Days later was drowning basically due to fluid buildup in my lungs. I peed several liters of fluid out of my body when I went back. Luckily there was no organ damage.

    I guess the point Is trust your body and intuition and don’t let them ignore your concerns.

    And sorry realized this post is so long :(. I don’t want to scare you either but just trust yourself – you can do it!