Women who got pregnant outside of a relationship, what did you decide and how did it work out? How much and/or in what way was the partner involved?

4 comments

1. I had an abortion and I didn’t tell the guy about it. Would also have had an abortion in a relationship though.

2. I decided to keep all my children (two in marriage & one with an on-again-off-again partner). I broke up with my youngest son’s father (on-again-off-again partner) 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t stop yelling “F*CK” at the top of my lungs when I found out. It was a mess. I was already divorced from my older children’s father at this time and was completely on my own. Neither person is really contributing to their child’s life to this day. If you keep the baby just know that shit is extremely hard, and you may have to do it alone. There are VERY FEW resources that actually provide any help to single mothers despite what ppl may say. So be prepared to hang on by the grit of your teeth if you have no (or very little) family support like me. No judgment here, do what you have to do. Just be prepared for the mental health side of abortion/adoption. That sh*t ain’t easy either. But if you’re not ready and you have no help, it might be the right choice for you because doing it alone will drive you insane as well. There are rewarding times, and I would NEVER trade them for the world, but as I listen to my children tear up my house downstairs and sit thinking about all the things I could have done had I had that first abortion at 17… there are times when I ponder on how it would have felt on the other side. Best of luck!

3. I was with my ex for about a month before discovering I was pregnant with his child. I decided to keep it which might not have been the best decision with where I was in my life. But no regrets 4 years later.

   I honestly wish I would’ve just left my ex at that point. As I was already considering it before the test. Instead, due to our southern upbringing we decided to get married. Let me tell don’t ever get married just because you’re pregnant. I was now locked into a relationship I never wanted to be in.

   My now husband expected me to stay at home, be a traditional housewife, and fuck him whenever he wanted. I had a baby, that was attached to my nipples, with no help from him. And he expected to come home to me all dolled up in lingerie apparently.

   I don’t regret the child at all. I love being a Mom. I love my daughter. I regret the man I was with. I changed all my daughter’s diapers. Did all the late nights. Took her to all the appointments. I was pretty much a single Mom at that point.

4. I chose not to stay pregnant. The relationship was over and no one needed that. I won’t have a child unless there are two parents in a position to provide properly