In my recent posts i said that school was starting, school started 2 weeks ago, so far not one classmate talked to me besides the usual small talk, no talk intending to be my friend… Is there something wrong with how i look or something?

24 comments

  2. No you’re being too hard on yourself. It’s poor metric to to judge yourself based on how many people talk to you or are friends with you.

    Make small effort here there to strike conversation. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Happens to everyone.

  3. You also need a topic to talk about if, like about you’re life on other things if not it will be boring for other people

  4. I used to have this problem. Recently started a new school and made it a huge point to talk to people. It’s been 4 weeks and I have friends 😀. You gotta try. It’s hard and scary, but the more you practice you’ll eventually be successful at it

  5. I understand this so much! It’s hard to talk to people you don’t know, I’m sure everyone in your school felt like this at some point. You shouldn’t have a speech ready necessarily but you can have a few sentences ready for whenever anyone approaches you. You can always say, hey I’m a bit of an introvert/ I have social anxiety so please bare with me, thanks. Or strike up a conversation with someone by asking the time or for a pencil, then introduce yourself, ask questions about them, if they play any sports or video games, if you have something in common, great, talk about that, if not, also great, ask them what X is about, or why they like it. I hope this helps.

  6. Think you’re overthinking it, people just don’t talk to you because they don’t know you. It starts with small talk and gradually turns into a friendship. Don’t stress everything will fall into place

  7. Don’t take it personally! school has just started and everyone’s trying to figure things out and adjust. It’s new to all of them we’ve all been there…
    I used to be extremely shy and had social anxiety but what I did was, when I noticed something that interested me about someone I used to tell them ( for example a book they were reading or their perspectives in English class) it was a better conversation starter than small talk which I found awkward. But later when I’d see them I used to do the whole small talk things bc you know you can’t just make friends by talking about interests, small talk matters too! Hope this helped

  9. I can understand OP! None also spoke to me (besides the occasional glances) for almost 2 weeks when I first attended college. It turned out that I looked intimidating to them (I asked my then friends why no one was talking to me during the start of the semester). I was so nervous I guess I forgot to smile and had my RBF on. I am super introverted, shy, AND awkward so it was (and still is) terribly difficult for me to make friends. So what I did was try to look friendly whenever someone tried to approach me. I would smile (genuinely with the eyes) and try my best to look interested in whatever it was they’re saying.

    Also if you’re having trouble starting and holding a conversation, try asking questions about the other person. People love talking about themselves, but don’t make it seem like an interview/interrogation. After asking a question or two, follow up with an opinion of yours or something about yourself then continue asking new questions.

    Making new friends is always a challenge, but they will come to you once you expose yourself a little to other people. Good luck!

  10. Sometimes, when i was in high school, i would leave introverts alone because they seemed like they didn’t want to interact with me

  11. I was shy in school and I really regret it. Go into the conversation thinking that you already know the person and that they like you. Small talk will turn into deeper conversation. Be consistent with them. If you notice they like something that you like, chat about it

  12. Does it ever happen before? I think 2 weeks is a short time to judge. For me back then it took a year to find the right friends with same humour as me and to be able to get along with them (not a lot, only 3, still not consider them as bestfriend).

    Ask their insta, invite them to your home, or if they invite you better join them, make jokes, you can also plan a trip (I used to go cycling or swimming with them) pretend you are not anxious till you forget you pretending.

    Don’t let them put you down just because you want some friends.

  13. Maybe you’re not putting in the effort either? Maybe they already have a tight friend group? Seems like you’re jumping to some big conclusions

  14. Why would they? Socializing and talking goes both ways, you can’t just expect people to start it or do all the work for you, you have to seek them out as well.

  15. Maybe instead of trying to get people interested in you. You should learn to become interested in other people.

    This is the right answer.

  16. You’re not entitled for friendship by anyone. This should be the base mindset, so you won’t feel disappointed.

    You may just get unlucky to sit near folks who don’t like reaching out and talking to people much, which is ok.

    Unless someone is malicious or just doesn’t like talking at all, don’t be afraid to reach out and get to know them. Something like how they feel about ongoing events around the community. What they did last weekend. Don’t worry too much if they don’t ask you things. You can take initiative to learn more about them and decide yourself whether these people could be your friends or just friendly acquaintances.

  17. It could be many different reasons. I’ve been shy in class. I’ve made friends but not always.

    What I realized lately though is.. many people is actually open to meeting new people. Sure, it’s weird to just chat someone up in the street. But if someone’s sitting beside you, just ask how their day is going. If they reply but don’t ask you, you can just say “oh, that’s cool. I just came from XYZ. I’m looking forward to the weekend. Do you have any plans”

    ​

    Take it from there. Or ask them how their weekend was. It’s the Summer, ask how their Summer is going. A good question is “do anything big this Summer?” Usually, if people aren’t too shy or want to talk, they’ll say something substantial that you can build up on.

  18. Start by giving the energy you want to receive. All that matters is what’s in your heart & the right people will gravitate towards you. 🙂

  21. If you feel afraid of others then your body language will communicate that fear in ways you probably do not even realize. Your social anxiety as spoken by your body language tells people: “Don’t talk to me, I am made anxious by you, do not approach, I wish to be alone.” People will see that fear and generally respect it by not talking to you. It is not out of malice, because people who do not know you cannot generally personally dislike you, it is probably just because of how you appear and little ways in which your look and behaviour indicates that you are not comfortable with others.

  22. find someone with a shirt with something on it you can relate to and make a comment on said shirt

  23. Do you talk to anyone at school? A great way to talk to someone you don’t know is to start up some conversation with a compliment like “i like your shoes, what’s the story behind them?”

  24. when they make small talk answer with more than yes and no, and ask them some questions back. the more u talk to people the less anxiety from it would (hopefully) be a hinderance

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