Like the title says: I’ve had problems with performance anxiety during hookups. I have trouble staying hard, since i’m either focused on making her happy or doing the “right” things. Does anybody have any tips for me to perform? I have a super hot girl coming over soon and I’m scared I’ll make a fool of myself.
2 comments
Sigh… be honest and take the shit feeling that may come from it. Hey, I’m new to all of this and my dick is shy the 1st time or two. It doesn’t mean you aren’t hot or that I’m not interested. You are and I am. Maybe we can take it easy and be physically affectionate a bit with out the pressure to perform immediately.
Maybe try for something other than hook ups. No marriage or jumping into “I love you’s” but actual relationships where you like each other, are honest/share your actual real life issues, and have the best sex you can have.
If it is the anxiety that triggers it, try to take it slow. Take your time with every step, the kissing, touching, taking clothes of not all at once, but piece by piece, alternated by more touching and kissing. This helps with becoming more comfortable and building arousal more slowly, where the tendency might be to think ‘I am hard now, need to go in as fast as possible so that it lasts’. That works counter intuitive.
You can also take the scarier route and talk about it prior to sex, but consider this an advanced move.