I had an ex and we were in LDR for almost 3 years. Despite being in LDR, we were quite sexual. We used to do a lot of sexting and talk about fantasies. My ex even kept talking about having a threesome with a bisexual girlfriend of hers. She told me that she took part in orgies twice. I found out after we broke up that she was actually going ahead to plan a threesome with her friend. However I ended the relationship because I felt both of us were not in a position to move forward (i.e. engagement) because I had to focus more on my career.
Even after we broke up, we stayed in touch. We met briefly once and couldn’t help but get into bed together. I felt we shared an incredible sexual chemistry with each other. After life drifted us apart (being in different countries but not too far), we still stayed in touch, texting once in a while. We would on occasion still have sexual conversations but not sexting. At one point, she even asked if I had any video recordings of us having sex because she wanted to masturbate to it.
While I was talking to her, I started talking to another girl and grew very close to her. Eventually we got married in 2021. When we got married, I deleted my ex from all social media and blocked all her numbers. For the past 1-2 months, me and my wife have faced slowdown in our sex life. Either one of us is always feeling too tired for sex, or sometimes not being in the mood. This started happening since my wife got an abortion (we were not ready to have a kid at that stage).
I didn’t want to end up in a state where I would get frustrated sexually so I started masturbating since we weren’t having sex. A few times, I ended up watching a recording of me and my ex having sex when we were together. I dont know if this is happening because I watched that video but I am fantasizing about my ex way too much now. I keep looking at her social media accounts to see if I can get any info about where she is. I keep thinking about what she used to say in our sexting sessions about having threesomes. I even keep thinking about times when we had sex.
I know this is going to damage my marriage. I am not in contact with my ex but I don’t know how to get out of this loop. I want to focus on a better sex life with my wife but instead I end up fantasizing about my ex and masturbating.
I dont know how to get out of this loop. Just need some help
2 comments
Stop looking her up
I would start by deleting any videos or pics you have of her. It will take away temptation, but also if your wife doesn’t know you still have these videos and she finds out I can’t imagine that ending well for you.
I’d also block her again to stop further temptation of searching her.
You could try taping you and your wife together and using that as a replacement to try and rewire you brain.
Organise a date night, buy your wife some sexy lingerie, talk about some fantasy’s the two of you might have and plan on acting one or more out. Try and reignite the spark between the two of you.
Good luck