Why are so many young people getting married?

16 comments

1. Ohh man getting married before 30 or late twenties (28, 29) usually is never a good deal. So so many young couples end up divorcing because they grow up in different directions, have not experienced life, have just started out lives, miss out on so many things because of family and kids, are not in good place financially, don’t know how to balance different relationships in life. It’s usually a mess. Some people do make it though, good for them.

   My therapist once said to me that one of the reasons of early marriages was that people didn’t have a good and healthy support system in family and friends, and they seek out to find a family to be happy. Secondly some people’s entire idea of life is getting married and having a family so they want to do it as early as they can. Some people think that a romantic relationship will solve all their problems and they will have a happily ever after.

2. Its funny you phrase it like this, since the average age of marriage as only been increasing.

3. Just because you were not ready to be married in your 20s doesnt mean other people arent ready for it… Some people actually want to learn and grow with their partner.

   And just btw no I did not get married super young just saying.

4. Your last question seems to imply that if people grow as they get older then they inherently will regret decisions/commitments made prior to that growth. I think those that marry young, understand that yes, each person will change and grow as they get older, but that just means they will continue to grow and evolve together.

   My wife and I started dating in our early 20s, and were married at 25/26. We are obviously different people than we were at the start of the relationship, but the growth together has made us stronger individually and separately, but isn’t a reason we would separate.

5. I mean why does anyone get married? Lol I’m sure their reasons are the same as anyone else’s. I got married young I guess at 26 but I was with my husband for 9 years before that. We met in HS. We have a few friends from HS who got married in their 20’s being HS sweethearts. Idk why at that point they’d wait? I never had the feeling of needing to explore or find myself with the absence of my husband. We allowed the space together to navigate our 20’s, but that never meat we were growing apart. I think half the time that’s a choice especially if the mindset is ME vs YOU and not US. Which is pretty common in your 20’s it just wasn’t hoe we went about it I guess.

   Everything we did we had the future in mind. If I made this career move we could take this next step, we could explore this thing, do this trip. If I go to college then we will have this amount of debt. Idk we never once had the you do you mindset everything we did we either experienced together or gave the space foe the other person to explore for themselves. Hell I went and studied abroad for 2 summer semesters. It was never a thought that I was off doing something that directly opposed my husband in any way.

   I mean some ppl are just ready in their 20’s. For better or worse, whatever reason they do doesn’t really matter as long as they have the “us” mindset they are more likely to succeed. And I also don’t really subscribe to the idea that people “need” to experience other people to “know” if they want to marry the person they are with. Ik that’s a big thing. People are always so shocked we both don’t have a ton of sexual experience before we got married other than each other. We have both expressed there’s no regret, we have no long lost feeling of needing to have sex with random people to know anything about ourselves. We may be the odd ones out on that topic but ik its a concern for a lot of people or ppl find it weird when others don’t want to participate in dating/hook up culture.

6. I met my husband at 15 so we had been together for a long time when I married him at 23. Pretty sure we got married for the reasons everyone gets married,wanting to build a life and family together. If we hadn’t done it then we would probably have had to wait another 4-5 years for logistical reasons. We’ve been married for 9 years now so it’s going well so far. It wasn’t something we did lightly. Obviously I 9 years of marriage and 16 years together there have been tough times but we are still in it together and very happy.

7. Ancedotally I’m noticing a lot of young adults getting married in early 20s. Not sure if it’s a wider trend but certainly seeing this in my social circles and extended family.

8. By 35, I was married and had 3 children. I’m 47, my youngest is 18 and graduated highschool. My husband retires in 2 years and we will most likely be traveling around the US with our RV. I can’t imagine starting a family in my 30s. I actually had a no kids after 30 rule…My grandma married at 14, my married 16. I guess waiting till almost 24, seems like something compared to them..lol

9. My wife was 21 and I was 23 when we got married. We dated for 9 months and were engaged for 9 months. 16 years later and I love her more every day. Our marriage isn’t perfect but we’re growing and maturing together. We have 3 beautiful daughters (13,12 and 6) and love the idea of being grandparents in our 50’s when we’ll still have energy to travel and do fun things with the grand kids.

   On average, the people I know who wait till their 30’s to start a family have a harder time adapting to the change that cover comes with a spouse and kids. Sure they’re more financially secure than we were, but that’s about the only advantage.

10. >but why do you think people marry so young? Do you think they have any concept of how much they’ll change as they get older?

    If you were making a genuine post out of curiosity, why isn’t it directed at the people it’s about?

    This is how this reads to a married 23yo.

    “hey other older people, aren’t all these 20 something’s too young to be married? they don’t even have a concept of time! Why do they even want to get married? I know if i was 20, I’d be out there getting my dick wet for another decade! They’ll be lucky if they stay together once they find out about… CHANGE!!! Ha ha!! Darn youngsters!”

    Just seems like you’re on your 35 year old high horse, hoping (and failing) to create an echo chamber of haters. Just because you weren’t ready to get married at 20, doesn’t mean others aren’t. Hope you’re disappointed this post didn’t go your way.

11. In my perspective married for 2 years at 23 I will say what my husband’s grandfather said when we did our vows and will take to my grave:

    “I married 7 different people when I married Jane”

    And he’s damn right. No matter your age in a marriage, your partner will change every single year whether you like it or not because they’re their own person. You will also change throughout those years as well. Not to mention a marriage takes commitment, loyalty, and communication to make it work, not just love. In the years I’ve dated and married my husband I can definitely say I’ve “married a different person 3 times” so to speak in my relationship with him. He’s so much different than when I met him – and he’s a lot better now than he was back then but in every single year I’ve been with him, I’ve loved him every step of the way. He’s done the same for me. We have rules in our marriage, we try and understand each other and respect each other.

    This is what a marriage means, and I can tell you it’s worth it to be married no matter your age – and I’ll say I find it worth it to me to be married at 23.

    Your post sounds so condescending and demeaning to those who get married young – it doesn’t matter when you get married what matters is if you feel ready for it.

    So sure, it’s fine you don’t feel ready for it but don’t drag other people down because you’re jealous they took the path less traveled by. That’s not the way to live a fulfilling life.

12. I would imagine young people get married for the same reasons that older people get married. and why anyone, of any age gets married in the first place.

13. We wanted to get married so we could have Sex, but we wanted to be together forever anyways. I’m 19, my wife is 18. We’re actually on our honeymoon!

    I say for the sex a little tongue in cheek. Part of it is our culture, but we’ve wanted to be together since she was 16. It just took us awhile to convince our parents.

14. Married at 21 met her when we were 18 been together 50yrs married for 47yrs. Love and marriage is what you want to make it!

15. So I got married young and I will say this: yes, we are aware we will grow and change and no, we didn’t rush anything. We had the means to get married and wanted to. We loved each other and love each other even more today. We have grown so much from when we met, our wedding day, and even yesterday. We’re constantly growing and developing into the people will be when we pass. We wanted what every other else who wants to get married wants: a life long partner, best friend, lover, and even coparent (if that’s what the couple wants). Our age doesn’t mean we don’t know what love is or know that we won’t grow. We’re just growing up together, just like everyone else:)

16. This sub is popular with the fundies who may or may not have successful marriages based on how much Jesus arrests their personal development.