I (23M) am currently being completely ghosted by someone (22F) I have been friends with for over 10 years. This is occurring after we became more than friends for a brief period a few months ago. I was outspoken about my continued feelings for her and tried communicating with her often despite her progressively creating distance between us. By doing so, I am afraid I may have violated her boundaries.
She has not blocked me on any social media despite all of this, which gives me some hope that she may talk to me again someday. However, my thoughts about her have become intrusive and are interfering with my day-to-day life. I have considered writing her one more letter to request that she at least communicate how she is feeling and what I should expect for the future of our friendship to ease my daily anxiety about the situation.
Is it worth doing this or should I just refrain from any contact until she decides to speak to me again?
TL;DR: Long-time friend who I recently had a relationship with is ghosting me. Should I send a letter requesting that she at least communicate to me what she thinks the future of our friendship is?
1 comment
Reframe from contact and deal with your own issues.
The intrusive thoughts are not her job to address for you, and contact with her probably will prolong them, not resolve them.
She doesn’t owe you that letter. It might be kinder of her to communicate more clearly, but begging or demanding isn’t a good idea. And it won’t help you.
You did bust through her boundaries until she felt she had to be make much more distant ones. Respect these ones, handle your own shit. If you want to reconnect purely as friends, you can send out feelers _in a few months_. Going faster than that will mean you haven’t handled yourself yet.