How did you know that your partner was the one? what made you realize that your partner is the one you want to spend your life with?

3 comments

1. Then maybe you need time or you have go figure out what makes you this nervous.

   Marriage is truely something scary I’m facing by the end of this year.
   You two agree to being bound to one person only with life-ruining effects if you brake that contract.
   You have no warranty at all except “trust me, bro”.
   If you’ll have children you’re even more fucked and can’t get out of that situation without ruining lives like Nestlé does.
   And this moronic Idea costs a fortune, an arm and a leg.
   And when you want to be completely fucked, build a house together.

   I’m going to marry my girl cause she is always at my side. We both trust each other deeply and I can’t even imagine someone else by my side.
   I’m still deep in love with her, even after 5 years and we don’t argue that much.
   Mostly about food and what we want. So, very little problems.
   She met me when I was a broke idiot with nothing on his hands but time which I was spending with my dying father. Highly depressed and always in fear of losing someone beloved.
   She was well situated and we fell in love just by character.
   Now I’m an well situated idiot with a really well paid job and try to build dreams with her.
   She is my sunshine and my hope.
   I’ll do everything for her to save her smile for a lifetime.
   And that’s just an overview.

   I’m scared, too. But what do I miss if I don’t spend my life with this amazing woman?
   I know how it was before I knew her.
   Fuck that time. Doesn’t want anything back as long as she wants to be with me.

2. There wasn’t one moment there was a bunch if little moments. This ides there’s some big ah-ha moment is rare. What you should ask yourself is could you picture a future withoutnthem in it? What would raising kids look like? (If you want them) can you repair after disagreements? Do you align with your morals, future goals and what you want long term? What would it look like to go through a health situation or a hard ship? Are they supportive? Nurturing?

   What would be so scary to say yes? Why would you say no? Are they important enough that would you say no? Do they out way why you’d say yes?

   For me it wasn’t even a question. We talked about the hard stuff, went through rough situations and had a foundation to survive the really hard times before we got married. When health scares happened, when money was tight, when jobs where lost or changed, we were already a team through it. We knew the number of kids we wanted, we knew what kind of retirement we pictured. It was all talked about prior to marriage. That doesn’t mean things haven’t changed or been altered but at the core we knew there was enough of a foundation in our relationships and wants and need to create a future we were both happy with. When we got married there were no questions about the marriage.

   I’d start thinking about why it seems like a leap and a scary thing that you are questioning. Commitment issues? Are there unanswered questions or situations that were unresolved? Whatever it is, only you can really say. Is there enough there for you to feel confident in the relationship? If not why and can that be fixed?

3. I feel like this isn’t a contemplative issue. If it’s not ‘hell yes’, then it’s a no.

   Do you still feel strong love and desire for him even when he does something that makes you want to rip hair out of his head? Have you resolved all ongoing issues that would make you resent him or he you in the future?