I’ve heard this opinion (from an American) that American adults (particularly men) don’t have as “tight” of friendships with close friends as others do in other cultures, especially after college.
Im not sure what I think of it. Americans who have lived abroad or seen other cultures’ friendship dynamics, do you think American men are less willing to forge strong friendships? (Not relationships). That is—a non-relative that you trust completely.
Sorry for this garbage question. I hope you understand what I’m asking.
17 comments
I don’t have a huge network of friends. But, there are some friends I’ve had for a long time that I would absolutely trust with my life.
I’d like to think that while no one really has a large circle of close friends after people grow up and apart, most people have at least one of two good friends, and make more later in life.
I have two very good friends who have been life long and close enough that they’re more brother and sister than friends.
And in the last several years I developed another set of very close friends out of mutual interests that brought us all together long enough to realize we genuinely enjoy each other’s company to the point where we will go out of our way for each other. And that’s how I define them as very close.
You have acquaintances, and friends that you see or don’t see and aren’t bothered either way and then very few that you trust and know will really be there for you, and you’ll be there for them.
I don’t think this is true at all. I certainly have a friend I trust implicitly. I know my brother does as well.
My wife is probably the only person I trust that much besides myself
Some men feel discouraged from making close emotional connections with other men, though I wouldn’t say that’s the case for everyone.
Also, it doesn’t help that as you get older it can be harder to create new friendships and easier to lose touch with old ones.
Yeah I’d say I have two people in my life like that in addition to my brother and wife. Don’t really have any other friends though which is unfortunate, I’d like to have more, but at least the ones I have are good quality lol
Most of my friends are the someone I trust completely type. I have around 5 of them from different points in life and then I have a few friends who are just normal friends.
I don’t have a close network of friends, but that’s my own doing. If I put some more work into those relationships, we would probably still be close, but I was too neurotic to keep in contact.
I also moved around a lot as a kid (and as an adult) so I think that plays a part in me not having life long friends. A lot of the guys I grew up with still hang out and are friends so it’s not uncommon to have close friends as a guy.
I have a few very close friends. We don’t live near each other anymore, but we keep in regular communication.
The question isn’t garbage. I’ve seen garbage questions on here. This is a good question.
I have a couple. I just drove one of them about an hour to a funeral on Friday evening. We talked the whole way about life, religion, philosophy, our lives.
My two closest friends are women though.
I think men do have a hard time getting that really close connection. Don’t know whether it is a cultural thing or a biological thing. Hard to say.
I HATE this stereotype. I know many American men, and women, with wonderful, close friendships.
In fact, they make a LOT of movies about them. Ever seen a buddy cop movie?
(OP I know you’re not perpetuating it, I just hate the stereotype in general)
I haven’t ever had a friend or family member I trusted completely. The only two people I’ve fully trusted are my wife and my ex.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a good friend I met at work six years back that I invite over and text near-daily, and a couple other friends of similar quality from previous stages of my life, but there’s plenty of things we’ve not shared with each other.
Part of it is probably just how frequently people move. Every few years, the friend group gets uprooted, so there’s not enough time to get that deep.
Yes. In fact I would say my best friend is the only person who truly knows me.
Depends on the generation imo. Newer gets tend to have closer knit friendships through adulthood.
This is actually a good question.
I moved to a new city a couple of years back and I have struggled to make friends since I have moved. Making friends as you get older is a lot harder, and even harder for men since we are conditioned to not really open up.
Thankfully I still have a few close friends back in my hometown, one being my old college roommate, and the other being a good friend of mine since high school.
I think it just happens as you get older, people get married, have kids, and really only associate with their spouse and family.
Curious which cultures you’re referring to. I’ve lived in the US and Australia as an adult and I found the friendships between men to be about the same in both places. That’s not to say it couldn’t be a stronger bond, but I kinda assumed it was about the same as other Anglo-influenced countries.
No, I don’t have any close friends.