I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 3 months. Few months ago I found out he signed up to a escorting site for gay men. He will meet these men in his home or their home and do things like beating them up, letting them lick his feet, jerking them off, and having sex with them (he’s top) for money and only with a condom.
At first it didn’t really bother me because in my eyes as long as its not a woman I don’t care. But recently I’ve been thinking I can’t be with someone that sleeps with other guys for money….. like I don’t wanna share him. And putting things together it’s so obvious he did this at the start of our relationship even before for money…. but I found out after 2 years and was already way too deep by that time. I feel lost and confused and sometimes even disgusted like I resent him. All the money goes on drugs or alcohol anyway. I feel so lost like im in hell. Its so hard to walk away because I’m thinking what if he gets with another girl the idea of him with another girl kills me. But I’m staying and I’m so miserable…. please help me I’m begging for help. I’m 30 and he is 27.

47 comments

  1. I would just try to tell him that you don’t feel comfortable with him doing that anymore, explain how it makes you feel. And if he doesn’t change or understand, that’s his loss.

  5. Being a prostitute puts himself and you at risk for many unpleasant things. He stops or you leave. It needs to be that binary.

  6. Oh my heart breaks for you. What an awful thing to do to someone you supposedly love.
    You do not have to accept this and you do deserve more.
    He has broken your trust, can you really trust him?

  7. Instead of thinking about him getting with another girl imagine yourself finding what you deserve then walk away into your future. You will attract the standards you have and being with this will only diminish your feelings of self worth and make it harder. Having this boundary is completely valid you deserve better as no this is not ok. Be strong

  8. I find it interesting that the gender of the person your boyfriend is fucking matters to you.

    They’re already fucking someone else in the ass. Why does it matter to you if they have a vagina or a penis?

  9. Have you had a serious talk with him about stopping, sharing how you feel and how it effects you? Granted, you were okay with it in the beginning but things do change so communication is really important. Side note, if the money goes to drugs and alcohol then it doesn’t seem like he’s in a good place mentally which I believe is a whole other conversation that should be addressed.

  10. No I’m sorry you have to leave him. You have no option you cannot carry on with this. I promise you you will find happiness with someone else who will treat you right.

  11. Adding to the chorus of break up and get an STD test. Sex work *is* real work but it’s work he deliberately hid from you for years, it provides money he spends on drugs and alcohol and it seems he has no interest or plans to do any other kind of work. It does not sound like you have the same long term goals.

  12. Well if he’s doing sex work and using the money for drugs and alcohol he probably is an addict. That’s just me assuming. Do you want to be with someone that hides things like this from you. If he is an addict do you want to have to deal with that forever because it will have to be dealt with forever! Don’t worry about him being with another girl because he’s just gonna lie and hide things from her too. You need to think of what your life will be like staying with someone like this.

  13. I would leave just because of the drug use and possibility of STDs.

    You need to break it off and move on, he isn’t changing.

  14. How is that you have no problems with drug and alcohol? It’s way more concerning than his job. I would prefer prostitute for a boyfriend but not a drug addict and alcoholic. Priorities…

  15. Monkey pox cases are on the rise. This is not the time for any bi or gay men to be hooking up with strangers.

    See a therapist please. You are fine with him selling himself to other men but you can’t bear the thought of him sleeping with women after you break up? Your prize of a boyfriend who spends the money on drugs and alcohol? Please want better for yourself.

  16. You were ok with him being with men and not women? Um, he was obviously getting it up for these dudes. Your guy is bi.

  17. Male or female, I wouldn’t be ok with him sleeping with anyone but me. From the moment I found out I would’ve demanded it to stop or i’m leaving. Things can be spread to you please get tested

  19. Your boyfriend enjoys pounding men, I’m sorry but it’s true. It’s cheating if we’re being honest, he gets to have his gf when he gets home and however many men per week plus money. It’s a bi guys wet dream. You deserve more than this long term, someone who wants only you. And none of this is any reflection of you, only if him

  20. >At first it didn’t really bother me because in my eyes as long as its not a woman I don’t care.

    I never understood this. It’s the same for HIM. And also, this is not an open relationship thing, he is an escort and he tells you he uses a condom, but he might not.

    > All the money goes on drugs or alcohol anyway.

    This is every WORSE.

    Break up. Help yourself!

  23. You deserve better than this out of your relationship. Leave. Additionally, he is not protecting you physically or emotionally, and that isn’t much of a relationship.

  24. The sex work itself isn’t the issue here so much as the lack of transparency around it. I appreciate that his work is something he might hesitate to disclose in a new relationship due to stigma, but 2 years is in deep. It sounds like you are uncomfortable with his work and the communication is poor all around.

  30. So essentially he has trashed your life with addiction and darkness and yet, you’re having trouble leaving. When you’re walking through hell, keep going. Also get tested. A lot of guys are more worried about babies at his age and think they’re going to live forever.

  31. Sweetheart, grow a backbone instead of that wishbone you have. You know that he is dishonest and you can’t trust him. Whatever you thought you had with him is not what it was.

  32. “As long as it’s not a woman I don’t care”

    Well you should, because that’s still cheating

  34. Are you that girl who sleeps at the bus depot. Where is your common sense. You’re both really gross. Like the other Reddit members have suggested you should get tested for stds and leave him, you’re in a very unhealthy relationship he’s cheating on you with gay men he’s bisexual. Your relationship is one sided. There are lots of men out there who are not gay escorts, this man could have stds. I wouldn’t waste a second on this guy.

  37. So even though u dont see it as wrong because it’s with a man, what if he was doing this because he was bisexual? What if it’s more than just the money he enjoys but also the sex and the company of another man? Would you feel it was less acceptable then? I agree with the others and think you should def leave. If he does get another girl down the road he’s prob going to continue to do the same stuff while he’s with her as well seeing as it’s something he seems to be into and he prob wants both in his life.

  39. Lol lol 😆 🤣 😂 😅 😄 🙃 😆 🤣 😂 😅 😄 🙃 😆 🤣 😂 😅 😄 🙃 😆 🤣 😂 😅

  40. In the simplest terms, your BF is prostituting himself for drugs and alcohol and you are in denial. It’s certain that he’s not always a top and not always using a condom, depending on the amount of money offered.

    WAKE UP! Get to a physician ASAP for testing and your options.

  41. This is awful and gross. Please leave him. He’s at the very least bisexual and possibly gay btw, but that aside he’s a hoe! A man hoe! Do you really wanna be with a hoe? I mean have some self respect. Clearly he was willing to lie to you about it for 2 years as well, and quite frankly a hoe and a liar, don’t you deserve better? What are you really gaining from this situation girl?

  42. there’s no way this is real, let me just get this straight, you have a bf who has sex with other guys and then spends the money on his substance abuse problems? oh yeah i think it’s a great relationship and is veeeerrry healthy😉😉😉😉

  45. It’s not the male escorting that’s the problem… It’s the fact that he’s not using that money to buy you a house and put a ring on it

  46. You are dating a person who prostitutes themselves to feed their addiction. Where do you see this going?

  47. I would be more worried about catching moneypox but that’s just me.

    Girl, what are you doing?

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