20M here, and it feels awful. There is so much wrong in my life, mostly factors out of my control. My parents are going through a divorce, I used to be a very good athlete and had a chance to go pro, I have had many relationships all of which have failed for various reasons out of my control. I wasn’t a bad boyfriend, I didn’t cheat, none of them worked out. I tried getting into another relationship only to get ghosted by the girl. I have a little brother that will be severely effected as a result of my parents breakup. I hookup with random girls to feel loved and embraced but then I never see them again. It’s an endless cycle. I’m smart about it, I get tested for STDs and always use protection. I need to go get therapy of some kind but I just don’t know how to speak out about it. I feel like I have no self respect. It doesn’t help that i’m on medication that makes my sex drive ridiculously high. I look like I have a lot going for me, but some nights i’m absolutely miserable. I’m attractive, i’m confident, i’m going into law school after I get my bachelors and currently have a 3.9 gpa and while I can’t play my sport anymore i’m still very much in shape. On the bright side i’m not doing drugs and/or alcohol, but it still feels terrible. The past failed relationships plus watching my parents go from very much in love when I was a kid to constantly fighting has turned me away from even trying for love and a relationship again. But at the same time all I want is to be held and feel like someone in the world cares for me in that way and isn’t just a one night stand.
To add to this, no one really believes I have “problems”. No one listens to me, they don’t understand how someone like me, attractive, confident, going into law school, and has “their life together” can have problems. They push them all to the side except they come to me with all of theirs as they need the opinion of “someone successful”. I play therapist for them but no one seems to ask how I am doing as they just think i’m “perfect”.
2 comments
You have incredible self awareness. Bite the bullet and talk to a therapist. It will likely be what helps you to help yourself. Sex addiction is real and no one‘s life is perfect. Sometimes the more perfect it appears on the outside the worse the reality is in private. You don’t have to do it alone. And you can feel better.
Therapists have heard everything and they are trained. I would flat out ask before you even go if the therapist has experience with sex addiction. You will get the most out of your sessions with someone who does. A lot of times they will have a bio available online.
Find a hobby and try to pursue something you’ve put off your whole life. Remember what you wanted to learn or do as a child… And do it! Find true satisfaction in life, and try to stop feeding that monkey part of your brain that just wants to seek easy satisfaction and dopamine rushes, with as little work as possible. This is coming from a still recovering sex addict. It’s tough, but you can do it! You just have to REALLY want it, and to want better for yourself and your future. Just sitting around cumming all day isn’t going to get you anywhere far in life. From my experience, it just leaves you wanting more, accomplishing less in life, and fills you by with regrets. It’s just like getting high on drugs and alcohol all day… Those substances make you okay with doing nothing, which goes against our nature. We’re supposed to be building and creating things as humans. We’re supposed to be WORKING for things in one way or another. Ejaculation does the same thing as drugs. Your mind and body is flooded with dope, and now your brain tells you you’re allowed to relax and not work on anything, because you already accomplished a hard goal and task, even though it really wasn’t a hard task, and even though you’ve been relaxing ALL DAMN DAY! Lol. And then, once you build your vigor and stamina back up to go accomplish something in life, you do it again, and the cycle never stops. I wish you luck.