UPDATE: found his fb page. He’d said he didn’t have fb- another lie. New ish only about twelve months old, with only a couple of photos. Found a Nina in the likes list of the photo, and lo and behold… her profile picture is of the two of them on a beach, arms around each other with a mushy look on each other’s faces. Comments on the photo going “how cute”. I will question him about all of this next time we meet IF AI can stomach him. But we are through. If they weren’t together anymore, her profile picture would display something else without the two of them looking very much ‘in love.’
****
As above. I have a terrible feeling I’m being played.
Also I should add that the man I’ve being seeing for 3 weeks apparently has 2 flatmates, male and female. There’s only traces of a woman… and no traces of multiple towels in the bathroom or anything in the living area for the doubtfully real male flatmate.
35 comments
He’s got a live in gf. You’re definitely being played.
I was seeing a guy in a 2 bed apartment. Swore to me he had a female flatmate but turned out he was living with his gf who was often out of town with work. She used the spare room to store her clothes and had her dressing table in there so he had the perfect set up to cheat. I just kept having this nagging feeling so I basically bugged him into confessing.
Women’s shoes in his bedroom and yet, invites you over?
He’s damn stupid
As obvious it might seem to jump to conclusions about this sort of thing have you thought about maybe asking him about the shoes? What exactly does newly dating mean to you? Was this a one night stand or have you been dating a while? When was his last relationship? Is he poly? Does his daughter/sister/niece stay at his house on the weekends? I could think of 20 other things right now but in the end, you need to ask him. It would be pretty fucking stupid to bring a side chick back to his house if she didn’t know she was a side chick. What about the rest of the house? Makeup, tampons, hairbrushes with long hair, dresses in the closet, a drawer of panties, what type of shampoo/lotion/facial products do you see? You are giving us almost no information basically as if you are looking for everyone to tell you that you are right and it’s sketchy. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. You haven’t given us enough to work with. Talk to him about it, if it still seems iffy, than it probably is.
Worst case scenario, he’s a cheater with a girlfriend/wife…
Worst-er case scenario, he has a tiny female foot fetish… He collects the shoes off his victims and displays them on that shoe rack like trophies. 😵💀
Either way, RUN!! 🏃♀️💨
why is it that hard to ask about the shoes? just ask
In the bedroom is his or partners a room mate wouldn’t put stuff in his room maybe at the door
lol have you met the roommate? seen them interact?
you’re getting played. ghost him ASAP.
Ask to meet her because you saw her shoes and like her style and think you would be friends 😉
“Room”?! Run!
Have you asked him about the shoes?
Since you know his address…. Look up who lives there and then mail her a letter
They are obviously for his service mannequin. Also lol if you stayed there after seeing that and making this man the people now days are more desperate than I recall.
A friend told me an ex were having dinner with someone when that relationship were new. Asked her about it and she told me it’s her brother and when I met him he matched the description. Just saying it’s easy to ask and there’s usually a logical explanation. My guess is that they broke up and it’s recent. But whatever.
Leave something behind that makes it obvious a female was there. If someone lives there, they will find it & if he stops communicating I guess you know why lol
No roommate keeps their shoes in the other room. They either belong to a very recent ex, or his current GF/wife, or he is likes wearing them himself. I would prefer the last option myself.
I mean, he could have a shoe fetish… there was that serial killer who had a thing for women’s shoes. I forgot his name. Still though, nothing about this sounds good 😀
Either he does have a partner and he’s just dumb bc he didn’t hide the shoes or there is a legitimate explanation. I would try to confront him about it and if he gives a shady answer or you doubt in any way that’s he’s telling the truth then just get out.
Is it that hard to just ask? I see that you’ve been seeing each other for 3 weeks already.
You should have just asked
As a guy with a female roommate, her shoes don’t go in the shoe rack in my bedroom lol…let’s not be silly here, you know what the situation is.
I’d say just ask, he might be playing you but it’s also possible it’s nothing serious.
Last time my mum came to visit me (from another city) she left 2 pairs of shoes on my shoe rack. I didn’t think much about it but now I can see how a girl can see that as suspicious.
Side note, based on the information you gave in this post I think it’s a red flag that you’re so sure he’s cheating on you. It doesn’t seem like you really trust this guy. Assuming he hasn’t done much to warrant the lack of trust it might be a sign you need to heal from trauma from a previous relationship. That being said he might be a piece of shit and might be lying to you. Regardless it’s not worth making assumptions about, ask him and if you aren’t convinced by his response then leave.
Haha hide something girly you don’t need in his room, help that girl out
Or he has children and has a daughter
Have you tried asking?
Damn…. Some ppl r sleeping with multiple ppl and others aint even getting 1?
I would hope a roommate wouldn’t be storing her shoes in his room… so yeah I think you’re right to be concerned here
So many comments ignoring the obvious common sense answer in this situation.
He’s a cheater. Why waste a single second more of your life and health on this man?
Talking about chatting about this suspicion in person.. for what? drama’s sake? to post a follow up on reddit for likes?
Look inside, and either accept that you like the scandalous nature of this situation, or see that you need to let go and move on so you can be a happy and healthy functioning person, with far better odds of meeting someone who is actually genuine.
All this and you’ll still go back. Just stop talking to him lol. No need to go deeper to prove anything to anyone. Shit people will continue to act like shit. Just move on don’t waste your time or energy.
Go over there again and leave a note INSIDE one of her shoes.
Did you meet on tinder? How did he initiate conversation? It’s wild that there’s so many single guys who would love to even have one dating partner, and this guy can get more than one
It’s funny to me how women never lie to get d but men lie like rugs to get p. It’s wild.
Could also be his ex, and you’re the rebound.
Common dude… this is like a sitcom. Why would you want to get any clarity on this, it’s obvious you should run. Guessing you met him on an app? The first things I check for are multiple toothbrushes, multiple towels, other sexes clothes/drawer/shoes/obvious signs a guy lives there. I guess theres nothing wrong if you dont mind being a booty call but it doesnt sound like you’re ok with being the other girl. I’d just cut off contact
Ask the woman online about the status of their relationship. He’s never going to give you an accurate answer: maybe they already broke up and don’t want to announce it to everyone yet, and he really isn’t cheating (Chances are slim, babe). It’s more likely he’s a cheating bastard, and the women will be confused and annoyed. Make sure to have the proof ready or else if you just say it straight up, she might think that maybe you’re trying to ruin her relationship because there are some people who have so much trust in their partner when they’re getting cheated on by them. Some people said to not be the hero, but imagine if you were in a relationship for so long to find out your partner was cheating on you? She might as well know rather than later…