Yes im the 18f in this situation and ive always thought 8 year gap is kinda too much especially when im barely legal? And all the guys i liked before were all around my age so i never thought i would like someone whos way older than me( for me 8 years is big) i dont have any daddy issue stuff like that but i met this guy few months ago and fell for him and he likes me too but im scared this age gap might be a red flag cause i heard most guys that age wouldnt date a 18 year old girl. Is this guy sketchy? Should i leave him? Btw he approached me first
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Hi
Idk if this helps, but I’m 23 and I wouldn’t date an 18 yo.
The life experience gap is too big, I’d feel like I was taking advantage of the younger person
yes. that’s weird on his end.
I dated a 27 year old for a year at 19. My experience is thag guys in their twenties date younger women because the younger women might not see the red flags women their own age would see directly. He was not abusive controlling or anything like that. He did not take advantage of me. He was just selfish and immature.
I don’t think the age gap itself is a red flag, but it might be hiding many. Be careful and look out for who he is.
18 and 26 are often on different life paths. He has way more life experience than you and there is a possibility the reason he is interested in an 18-year-old is for shady reasons. I think you should listen to your gut and not date him. I’m sure you’ll find somebody else.
Lol omg “daddy issues”, eight year olds are not out there making babies your acting like this is a gap where he is old enough to be your dad when its not even ten years between the two of you.
I think you should give the relationship a chance. You both like each other + that’s what matters. My bf is 13 years older than me + we’ve been together for over 10 years. Do what makes you happy.
It is a big gap, and it will show.
Main thing is if he appears to be aware of the fact that there’s a gap.
If one really wants to make it work, out of a deep interest into each other, there will be ways, as long as the potential for problems is acknowledged. If, instead, you guys start ignoring it or saying that there’s no problem, not addressing it, then that’s a red flag, because it would mean he cares more about having you available than your well-being (and this goes viceversa of course, but normally the more mature person ends up being in control of the relationship)
There’s also a question of the dynamic of the relationship: if he just likes the fact that you’re small (and ofc he wouldn’t easily admit it), you might end up getting that role, slowing down your personal growth. It’s also hard to have an organically linked social life, as he’d probably hang around with people you and your friends don’t vibe well with, and vice versa. This means that he would feel more in power to behave wrongly, as there’s much less potential of a social backlash.
So these are some of the risks, which should tell you why age gap is important. Again it can work and I know of relationships that worked on such an age gap, but you do need to take great care, and he must also do it, and you must feel that you can trust him he will and his friends will check on him too, as your friends check on you too.
The important thing to note is that it’s not ALWAYS WEIRD. It might be weird 80-90% of the time, but it is always possible to have a healthy relationship in your situation with no red flags, it’s just uncommon.
When people here say that age gaps are weird or harmful, they mean usually that’s true, perhaps due to bad experiences or a bias against big age gaps.
The truth is you need to decide for yourself if the guy has issues or if him wanting to date you is indicative of any problems he has.
You seem really unsure of the relationship and worried about the age gap. While the gap is a legitimate concern, it’s more important to figure out how important is this relationship to you. If it’s worth the effort of standing for independence and your future, watching for red flags, and open communication (as I hope you would in any relationship) and the extra work already mentioned just because of gap issues, then you should go for it.
27F here: eighteen year olds are still children to me. No offense to you, I just know how much important stuff I’ve learned in the past ten years, and wouldn’t be comfortable dating somebody who hadn’t learned those things yet. The fact that he actively DOES want that is sketchy to me.
I dated a 26 year old at 18 for 5 years it was a pretty serious relationship but eventually you want different things. Which is why it ended. Wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a red flag unless he always dates younger girls.
Age gaps are always hard. The older you get, the less it matters. But just to put it into perspective. When HE was 18. You were 10…. You know? And the number eight-TEEN….. I’m sorry, but I personally think it’s a little weird for even a 21 year old to date an 18 year old.
When I was 16 (F) I was dating a 19 year old. And now that I’m in my mid 20’s I’m so grossed out by it.
I know boys are stupid, so most girls tend to date older guys hoping they find a MAN instead of a BOY. But IN MY OPINION, this 26M is basically dating a “child” because you ONLY became legal THIS YEAR. You know??/: I’m not trying to be harsh. I know everyone is different. But I really wish someone would have shaken me out of the false reality I was in when I was 18 and he was 21 it was miserable.
And the fact that he approached you first just gives me hella pedo vibes 😬🤢
half his age + 7 would be 20, so your age gap is an indicator of a relationship that does not align with emotional maturity, life experience, and relationship expectations. To many guys his age bagging an 18 year old is a bragging right, not a sign he has found someone he wants to settle down with.
Red Flag, I reserve that for abusive behaviors…. but this is a big orange flag.
Leave him
You’re so smart 🥹
10/10 would not recommend. But that’s from what I have seen around me. Two girls got baby trapped in no time. (Both 18f and 30m’s)
Yes. As a 25 year old dating a 18 year old sounds literally gross and i would never be attracted to one. The reason is because those years in between 18 and 25 are very fundamental years similar to how weird it would be for an 11 year ild to date an 18 year old. Thats literally what it feels like.
I always dated older guys. Married a guy 12 years older. I had no patience with the nonsense of guys my own age. Someone on here said times change? I don’t think so, there’s just a lot of people with a bug up their asses about “age gap” these days. People stay the same, aside from what the latest trends are. You do you. If you aren’t comfortable, move on.
18 and 26 is a different age gap and mindset than say 35 and 43. It could end up leading to a sketchy relationship so keep your eyes open for red flags.
i’m a 28m. personally i wouldn’t go for an 18yo. we are just in totally different parts in life and that can cause a lot of stress
Also. i have a brother who’s 19 and his female friends look like genuine children to me. that’s a hard hill to get over. and kinda weird that he was able to so easily. unless of course you look older for your age.
18 isn’t 21. 21 isn’t 25. Once you hit 25, the age gap factor begins to dissipate in terms of 8 years. But at your age, you have yet to experience so many aspects of life. You don’t know enough. He could be an amazing guy and it could be a wonderful relationship, but it’s not worth that risk when you’re not at an age to safely get out of that kind of relationship.
Think what you want, I’m 22m and I couldn’t fathom dating an 18 year old, the whole thing seems gross to me to be dating someone who is still young enough to require permission to go on dates and has a curfew.
This sounds like the potential for grooming. Find someone closer to your age, for your safety. I didn’t, and mine is a cautionary tale, indeed
**is it a red flag? 18f 26m**
Yes.
The fact that someone is 26 and would date an 18 year old is not a red flag. All you need to worry about is how he treats you.
Something to keep in mind is that there is basically a power imbalance built in to the relationship . 8 years for older adults isn’t a big deal but you barely have any life experience yet compared to him, so he will likely be taking the lead in any major relationship decisions. Is that something you are okay with?
Something else to keep in mind is – why does he want to be with you? What’s his past dating history? Are his exes close to his age and you are somehow the exception, or does he typically date younger girls? If it’s the latter then likely it’ll only be a matter of time before he “trades you in for the new model” so to speak.
I have a feeling that you are somewhat uncomfortable with the age gap already considering you even wrote this post up to begin with. Follow your heart but still think it through. Best of luck!
absolutely. drop it and keep on pushing.
u do not want a guy that is 26, trust me.
u will find another. trust me.
ur uneasiness u feel now, is ur body telling u something is not right.
dont do it
I am a 26 year old female and could not even see myself dating someone even 22. 18 is crazyyyyyyy. There is something wrong with him that he goes after girls that young.
Most of my guy friends who are also 26 are agreeing. something aint right
I’m 26 & could not imagine dating someone fresh out of highschool, yall are still basically kids to me 😭 it’s def a red flag
I’m a 26M and the age gap is too much. 18 year olds look and act like teenagers once you reach 26. Thinking about dating someone under 21 just feels wrong now that I’m older.
I’m 23m and 18 year olds are like kids to me I wouldn’t touch em with a 10foot pole lmao
He’s definitely taking and range of her. Now, if it was 66 and 58, it would totally be okay.
I’m 24. I pay taxes, I have a pension, I have an IRA, a career, a car, an apartment. You just got out of highschool. You’ve needed permission to go to the bathroom until recently. A LOT happens in those 8 years. I can’t imagine dating anyone under 20, maybe 21. Makes me ick, no offense. Y’all are kids.
There’s gonna be a big power imbalance in this relationship. He has money, you don’t. He may try to be controlling in ways you can’t see that a 26 year old wouldn’t put up with. This age gap is big enough to be considered grooming unless it’s a brief casual sex FWB relationship. At that point, it’d just be odd but legal for him.
Consider the possibility there may be a reason you don’t see yet that girls his age won’t date him. He may also be with you because you’re easier to control as you lack experience. More optimistically, he might not be so controlling, he might just be as immature as an 18 year old.
At 18, yeah. In 10yrs, nah.
What I heard from someone who dated someone older and gets serious with them is that at the end they feel they didn’t enjoy things other teenagers did because they had to grow up…
I say enjoy your teen days and go out and have fun, you don’t wanna grow up regretting it
The thing is he’s been an adult for 8 years. You’ve been an adult for 0 years. That’s why the age gap matters. If maybe you’ve been an adult for 3 years, and him for 11, at least you’d have some semblance of what’s it’s like to be an adult and whats trulyat stake. So tread with caution because you are literally going in blind.
I’m 22 and 18 year olds are children to me 😂
I’ve been the 19 year old dating the 26 year old, and let me tell you- looking back, I know that age played more of a part in our dynamic than I realized. You think he might be more experienced, or knowledgeable; you might think you’re just as mature as him. And you might be! But, you are still growing mentally and that can be taken advantage of far too easily.
If you think it’s too much of a gap, surely that answers your own question?
Definitely a red flag.. clearly shows that women close to his own age are right through him whereas you wouldn’t because you’re much younger. 8 years isn’t a big gap depending on the stages on life. 18 and 26
Is much different than 40 and 48 for example.
I think it’s best to approach this situation with caution.
In my honest opinion, a twenty six year old man should not even be thinking of potentially getting with an eighteen year old. Especially “liking you back” after just knowing you for a “few months.” It doesn’t seem right. He should be looking for someone around his age.
It’s weird as fuck.
Approach cautiously. Best of luck to you, friend.
I would be very cautious bc an older person dating someone you age usually doesn’t have good intentions. Your mindsets and stages of life are very different and you gotta think, what does a fully mentally developed adult w years of life experience want w a barely legal person (being a teen I’d still personally consider a child, no offense tbh) w no life experience and is still very much so developing mentally? Red flag imo 🚩
IMO, older guys date younger because women their age see through the bs.
18F here! i wouldn’t like to date someone in their twenties at my age. Eight years is not that big gap for some people but this is a huge red flag at this age. I know it will be different when you’re a 25 yo and he’s a 33 but at that time, you’ll be more mature!
Also, he has more life experiences than you and it matters! and these life experiences will make him (assuming) more inclined to date someone more mature, so yeah it’s weird to date a teen girl at his age.
I’m 24, please trust me when I say it doesn’t matter if you’re legal, it’s suspicious as hell for someone that much older than you to be interested in you. With people like that there’s always a reason people their own age won’t date them and they just hope you’re inexperienced enough not to notice. Either that or they just want someone to control. Or the whole “barely legal” thing gets them off which is not something you want to be a part of at all.
Please leave, and date someone close to your age. For your own sake.
I’ve replied to these posts many times but here goes. I met my wife when she was just turning 19 and I had just turned 27. We have been married 34 years, have 2 adult kids and have had a wonderful life together with some amazing life adventures and have seen some dreams through to completion. We also know several other couples with nearly exact age gaps who have had very similar life experiences. My advice to you is if someone feels like the right fit with no red flags as defined by you then fine. I have had so many call me names and be really mean on reddit. I am sorry your life is not happy, ours is.