Pretty basic question.
lol I’m going through a phase where I really want to meet someone but everyone who “likes” me I don’t seem to find attractive? Now I don’t consider myself THAT superficial, I’ve always joked that I’m like a hot average, at BEST a 7. But being on dating apps it’s like.. I have so many standards, lots of reasons to swipe no… (I’m clearly very very picky) but then there’s some people who I’m like cool he has lots of the same interest but physically I’m not attracted to the photo AT ALL.
That being said I would hate to get to know someone, go on a date, and then the vibes off because there is no physical attraction for me on my end. Guys that go on dates with me always seem to ask for a second date, but I always know right after that first day if I’m romantically interested or not. Then I feel bad because I feel like I’ve wasted their time and now I can’t even “be friends” because they’re hurt I’m not interested in them that way.
Should I both going for a date with someone I don’t think I’ll be sexually attracted to? Or just keep swiping?
4 comments
You can have your tastes and be as picky as you want to be.
If sexual attraction is important to you, then it just is. Obviously don’t try limit your options. But don’t stop going on first dates because you don’t want to waste someone’s time.
You have to see the person yourself to really know if they are right for you. But, keep swiping if you don’t see something there.
I’ve tried before and it just doesn’t work. Waste of both of your time.
If you’re in a position where you’re spoiled for choice, then I don’t see why you can’t just date the guys you are attracted to.
With that being said, if you keep finding yourself attracted to a certain kind of guy, and if those dates don’t keep working out for you, then maybe mix it up a bit; life is short! There are plenty of people that are just outright awful with their photos, so there’s a real chance that some of those unattractive photos may look better in person. (And a very real chance that they might just look worse as well lol)
If everybody who likes you is that unattractive that you can’t even give them a shot, and the guys you do find attractive aren’t interested in seriously dating you, then there is clearly a disparity between ambition and ability, no disrespect.
A common issue in modern dating is that apps and social media rub very attractive people in our face constantly, as if it’s normal for people to look like that and they are everywhere, so surely we can all dare one of them right? When in the real world those people make up the top 10/15% of good looking people and the rest of us probably need to start thinking about what is actually going to make us happy, being very very picky just in terms of looks isn’t exactly the key to finding a happy relationship.
This is of course Reddit, where single people come to tell other single people to “never settle”, but if you want a relationship I would advise taking a break from the apps and the social media so that maybe attraction will stop being such a black and white thing to you.