I have problems navigating new social environments. Like, if i join a new hobby group. There will always be one or multiple cool cliques of people. And then a whole bunch of outcasts who sit in the corner. At first I will get approached by some of the cool people, but after the third visit or so I end up standing there alone, in the door way. Nobody greats me and I have no clue what to do. Do I just go sit in the corner with the other outcasts or what? I feel too much of an outsider to insert myself in one of the cool cliques, but also my whole point of joining is to make cool friends.
Does anyone have some tips on how to navigate such a social environment?
1 comment
First mistake I believe you are making is you are labeling various cliques as “cool”, “outcasts”, etc.
Second mistake I believe you are making is it looks like you are just idling waiting to be adopted by people.
You’re being approached/greeted as you are new. What are you doing from there? Are you asking them if you can sit with their group? What are you then bringing to the conversation when you are sitting with their group? Are you making attempts to get to know them, while allowing them to get to know you better, etc.?
But going back to my first line…is it an issue if you are sitting with “outcasts”? Where do you personally feel more comfortable and feel fully capable of being your true and genuine self? That is how you navigate social environments. Don’t create labels, and just be around who you personally enjoy being around. But you need to make your own moves and not just wait to hopefully be adopted.