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Length would be good to avoide cross contamination.
My wife and I own one of these.
https://amzn.to/3PwvGcX
We’ve had great luck with it. It’s plenty long enough, very flexible (we can DP her with it if we like, it folds over in the middle). It’s also very reasonably priced.
If you were wanting your wife to take control, these are awesome, had a girl use one on me once.
10Speed Vibrating Double-Ended Strap-On Dildo Pegging Anal Vibe Lesbian Sex Toys
[https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/304410498128](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/304410498128)
Good luck finding other stuff