So I (25f) went on a date last Thursday with a guy (29m). He turned up a little late (but has text to explain) and it was clear he was high, but like quite high. He bought me a drink and I bought him one, by that point he was a lot more coherent. He ended up being really interesting/we had a lot in common and although I was initially pretty annoyed I decided I was already there so I would just make the best of it. He said he would text me, and I remember thinking that if he did I would consider meeting again. No word from
Him since so I forgot about it, but he texted me today just saying it was good seeing me and asking how my week had been.
I’m not really sure whether I should text him back. I found him really attractive and we got on well. He also explained/apologised for being high – but I was pretty annoyed to begin with and it is making me doubt myself.
Would love a bit of advice – is this a red flag? Or should I see what happens?
4 comments
Um yes this is a red flag? I would expect a first date to show up sober. It’s fine if you end up drinking or smoking ON the date, but he shouldn’t be showing up already incoherent.
perhaps he was anxious…who knows. Only YOU can decide, not reddit. So if you are unsure, there is nothing wrong with meeting for a quick casual drink.
Aren’t first dates, put your best foot forward types of deal?
Your instincts already gave you the red flags, you were pretty annoyed for a reason. He wasn’t valuing you or your time.
You made the most of it, just to be nice I would assume. Which indicates you lowered your expectations. On the first date expectations are pretty low: don’t be late, be dressed well, be polite and respectful to everyone.
Have you ever showed up high to a date or an engagement with friends?
He literally texted you one week later… which means you’ve been waiting for him to text for 5-6days.
He is doing less than bare minimum, he’s just biding his time. Nothing in any of this, says he is interested. It feels like his M.O. is, “if you’re available, sure”
The question for you is, why do you still want to “see what happens”?
Red flag, I would say. If he’s willing to do that on a first date/first impression what do you think the rest of the time will be like. Probably does it all the time, zero chance that’s a one off situation