At my job I occasionally jokingly flirt with some other girls, obviously I’m not planning on having it go any further but I was wondering, how often do other guys do this and how far do you go before it goes too far?

37 comments

  3. A little joke here and there but set boundaries. I keep this up by telling stories about my girlfriend to subly remind people that I’m taken

  4. Don’t do it. Maybe it’s a joke for you, but maybe the woman at work takes it serious. And how would your wife feel seeing you “joke” flirting with another woman. And what exactly is the difference between joke flirting and flirting, because it sounds like it’s just flirting but it sounds bad to say that so just stick the word joke in front of it.

  6. My rule is “if I wouldn’t do it with my wife present, I don’t do it”

    The exact line can shift based on context and surrounding conversation, but that’s the judgement I use.

    Same goes for her. She was a bartender at a local theater for a while and she asked how I felt about casual flirtation. I told her “I trust you and I’m not worried, so if it gets you more tips go for it” but I’d feel differently about a close colleague in an office setting because it’s not the same situation, you know?

  7. No flirting at all. It’s disrespectful to your girlfriend, and to your relationship.

    I had a very flirty friendship with a friend, like slapping ass and grabbing tits.

    Once I got a girlfriend, I told her “Any kind of flirty fun we have, absolutely has to stop out of respect for my girlfriend and relationship”. She agreed.

    Some people are fine with their partners flirting for fun, I’m not one of those people, and so I do the same.

  8. Depends on the person and their relationship. Intent is something to consider. Some people flirt because they like the attention. Some flirt to make others feel better. It is nice to feel wanted and coming from someone who isn’t ‘obligated’ to say something like your partner.

    I heavily flirt but I have never cheated on any of my partners.

  9. Sometimes I’ll entertain it to an extent, but I draw the line at reciprocating touch

  10. It’s always pleasant to know you are attractive. My wife and i are very clear on this. We don’t start the flirt but we can answer to it for a while. No touching whatsoever, of course.

    Once, a girl was clearly hitting on me while my wife was a few meters away. I was responding to the flirt and after a few minutes, my wife came, kissed me and présentes herself to the girl with a big smile on her face. We still joke about this one because i say she could have let me have fun for a little more.

  12. Doesn’t matter if your in a relationship. But once I got married I quit it all together

  14. If you have a SO then you should not flirt period. Compliment on her work or changes to her look but don’t flirt with nothing to achieve.

  16. I was an incorrigible flirt when she met me. I still flirt. But that’s it. Never goes farther.

    I made a vow. And that’s the boundary.

  18. Enjoying the company of a female coworker is OK. Enjoying it more, or in a different dimension, because they are an attractive woman is OK. Anything suggestive or provocative or that might make her reasonably think you would cheat on your wife is sort of an insult to your wife. I don’t insult my wife, period. Whether she is in the room or not is immaterial.

  19. I don’t flirt with any women besides my SO.

    Yes, I make jokes around other women, talk to other women in a friendly way, etc. But I do not flirt with them.

    I think men who do this while in a monogamous relationship are either sleazy as fuck and or just annoying attention-seekers.

  20. there are no rules.

    A girlfriend is not a wife, that means that you must always be looking to replace her with someone who is better, and for that to happen you gotta meet other women, and you gotta flirt with them.

  22. I don’t do it at all. If I get a compliment that’s fine and all. Boost for my ego. But i don’t participate in that thing. I say thank you that’s it.

  24. I don’t at all. I wouldn’t like it if they were flirting behind my back why would it be fair I do the same?

  25. I never flirt with another woman in my wife’s absence. We have set that boundary between us. We are also swingers, but never act out on that alone.

  26. Married 19 years. In our relationship the there is no flirting with others. That simple.

  28. I’m naturally flirty, so I’ve been told. I don’t even realize I’m doing it, but I’ve had females ask me why I chose to flirt with them. I thought I was just being nice, but I guess I said flirty things. It goes too far when you plan to meet up later. If you get physical, it has gone too far. Anything that could be construed as sexual harassment in the eyes of an onlooker, is likely too far.

  29. My girlfriend bartends on the side of her day job, and I’m fairly secure and emotionally intelligent and I’ll go on her shift and sit quietly at the bar while she flirts with men and then turns them down. She knows that I am a pretty outgoing and charismatic dude, she doesn’t take any of it as flirting. I think physical touching is the boundary for us.

  30. As a woman, I’d feel heart broken. The guys at my work will do that to some of the other women at work and I just feel so sorry for their wives that they married a person like that. And I think it goes both ways. When I’m with a person I love and respect, I’ll lay down the fucking law with other men because I’d never jeopardize a quality relationship for a funny joke or a joke flirt. At some point if you do it with everyone then it’s just not special anymore.

    Now, there is one man at work who does flirt, but he does it in front of his wife as well as when she’s not around and she gives it as good as he does. They have that dynamic and they both reciprocate so it makes sense for them and neither one gets hurt by it. But it’s not like that for the majority.

  31. The only person I go home with is my wife. The only person I kiss is my wife and the only person I put my hands on is my wife. If I get chatty with some women my wife could care less because she know nothing is going to happen past the chat -it’s not that I haven’t had opportunity but I value my relationship with my wife more than I value anything that could happen with someone I might have a toss in the sack with.

  33. My wife gets hit on all the time, even when she doesn’t notice it. When I do we both take it as a win for me. I’ll return a bit of the attention as a novelty but won’t take it further

  34. Its not right. But you should ask yourself would I be ok if my SO was flirting or being flirted with?

  36. Zero or less than zero

    Flirting or even playfully flirting is disrespectful to you SO. I wouldn’t want them to do it so I am for sure going to follow my own expectations.

    Flirting *could* lead to more and that’s a risk you should not be taking at all if you respect your SO and actively want to avoid cheating. 10 miles begins with a single step

  37. My bar for cheating is if I’m doing something that I wouldn’t do if my SO was standing right next to me. This goes for in person, messaging & online apps. It’s a dangerous double edged sword because it commands respect & makes women want you more.

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