What makes you lose appreciation for a woman who’s genuinely interested in you?

45 comments

1. Who said I had appreciation for her in the first place?

2. No sense of personal space.

3. Just because she’s into me doesn’t mean she’s good for me.

4. Poor treatment masked by her own insecurity. I’m flattered to be obsessed over, but when she turns that obsession into a river of insecurity, control, and micromanagement, it’s time to go.

   My ex got me bad in that department. I knew she genuinely loved me, but I couldn’t even do a basic transaction at a gas station without being accused of flirting just for saying “thank you.” Her logic devolved into “if you’re nice to women it will give them the wrong impression.” That’s projection with a capital P.

5. Needy and too pushy

6. Beeing needy, too clingy, playing games, something like that

7. Seeing she was nice to me, but mean to other people. People she stood to gain nothing from (anyone can be nice to someone they’re attracted to).

8. The few times a woman has shown or flat out told me they are interested they haven’t been what I was looking for. A couple girls have been too young for me to want to date them (one of them just wasn’t a nice person in general), and another was slightly too old but also despite being much older was very immature.
   Mainly if they aren’t a mature person I likely won’t be interested back.

9. Vulgarity. Trying to be more like a man. Feminist mindset.

10. Can’t take care of themselves or they’re environment

11. Playing silly immature mind games, I haven’t got time for that shit.

12. Gossipy and mean about it

    I like to gossip, but I honestly don’t take anything said to heart and still hang out with everybody

    If someone acts cold to someone because of gossip? That’s a no

13. She has no career ambition and obviously wants to be taken care of.

14. Interested in as in merely “interested” not necessarily in a relationship, because if OP meant relationship OP would have written relationship not “interested”. I can think of about five examples over my long life:

    Typical high school girl stuff, would rather play games and cause drama than be happy. Why, oh why, can some couples just go to prom and enjoy it, but she forces the event to be a parody of a rom-com teen drama nonsense? She would literally rather have something to gossip and complain about, than something to be happy about.

    Her politics were extreme and more important to her than I was, and worse her views were not even remotely aligned with my politics. I’m not entirely sure her opinions were even technically legal.

    Summarized to “I’m a devout leftist white woman who tells everyone what to think, therefore I have an automatic n word pass” Ah sorry baby I don’t think it works like that. He’s my lab partner, but even I don’t have a pass, nor would I want a pass, nor would I refer to him like that. But she’s a better person than I am because she’s more politically devout than I am and she goes to the best rallies and holds the most strongly worded signs, so she gets to call my buddy a n word behind his back. Rich white college girls make my eyes roll sometimes.

    Summarized to “I’m very proud of being an alcoholic-in-training, are you one too?”. She was hot, but No Thanks. To put it in Reddit-Speak doesn’t matter how hot she is, if she’s almost never sober enough to consent, right?

    No respect for her body means she’s not going to respect me or anyone / anything else. Fat, no exercise, ugly tats, ugly piercings, smokes, just ugh. This isn’t some opposites attract thing where I’m going to drop everything and chase her because she has a beer belly full of junk food with the fake Chinese font that doesn’t actually exist but she thinks it spells out “love” or whatever, what an absolute clown, she was a walking meme.

15. Jealousy, dishonesty, manipulation, no sense of humor, fake kindness (real kindness is amazing), other fakeness, being disrespectful, being arrogant, ignorant and abrasive about things you know nothing about, being a smoker, bad at communication, bad at simple logic making us unable to relate, thinking you’re better than people (especially with no evidence of having made yourself better), being a bad person, being “woke” + hostile-reverse-racist against people who literally have done nothing wrong, but are “the problem”. Having viewpoints that aren’t intelligibly supported with anything that can’t be respectfully discussed because feelings are fragile. Being hyper insecure. Being unkind to friends.

16. Someone incapable of treating those around her with respect except when it serves her needs.

17. 1) She smokes. It’s a real pity. She’d have been cute, too.

    2) She is rude to service workers. I will walk out mid date.

    3) Every sentence has to be an argument.

    4) Games. Stupid little high school games. I ain’t got time for useless drama.

18. Over use of quotation marks is my pet peeve. Back in the 90s Dr. Evil did that because it’s annoying and stupid, but for reason lately it’s become normalized. Anyway I matched with a chick on tinder and was sexting with her, but she wouldn’t stop using quotation marks and it irritates me so much I unmatched her. I think the comment that did it for me was ‘I’ve met too many “boys”. I need a “real man”.’

19. Sexual conquests, dated a girl that was with Deadmau5 and was proud of it, another was with a hockey player. bruh youre 23 and hes over 40 thats nasty no thanks.

20. Only Fans models i come across in my reels.

21. The last Women who had genuine interest would try to gaslight me and make me the villain in conversations so I would have to apologize and make it up to her. I had to bring the text/convo to my coworkers to make sure I wasn’t the bad guy and they all agreed I didn’t do anything to warrant her reaction/accusation.

22. Attention seeking behaviour on social media.

23. She had a fwb and talked about him twice in a date.

24. Social media addiction/overuse of phone…and the constant validation seeking that normally comes with it.

25. Her attitudes and behavior. She seemed cool and was nice with me but when she thought a guy at the bar was disrespecting her she flipped out and laid hands on him. Then she didn’t apologize and thought this was a perfectly ok way to act. I don’t care what someone says to you, you don’t EVER lay hands on them like that.

26. Having no ambitions or dreams of the future. Having no hard work ethic. We must grow to gather and push each other. I don’t want to take care of an adult baby.

27. Her poor choice.

28. Never accepting blame for anything and always turning it around and making you feel bad for it.

29. a lack of DAT ASS.

    Okay more seriously, a lack of kindness or noticing that she is only kind to me because she wants something.

30. Lack of having their personal shit together. My ex loved my dearly and I had feelings for her too, but at the same time I couldn’t ignore that she was a bit of a mess emotionally/financially and needed to be taken care of. I felt like an emotional tampon for insecurities.

    Also, lack of intellectual stimulation. Talking about our feelings or joking around is great and all but if we are building a future together, we should also be well versed in higher-level discussions pertaining to economics, money, etc.

    Just goes to show, love and marriage don’t necessarily go hand in hand. You can mutually love and care for one another, but that doesn’t mean you are suited to be life partners.

31. If she has the “I’m a bad bitch” attitude, your not bad, your just a bitch.

32. Using feminist phrases

33. I was seeing this girl once who was super into me and super upfront about it, really cute and super fit too. The issue was it always felt like she had something to say about what I was doing, like I would be the perfect boyfriend if I changed this, this, and this about myself. Not really into changing who I am just to fit the mold of your perfect boyfriend so that kinda made me lose interest pretty quickly.

34. Toxic attitudes: the full gambit really, but the one that stuck most with me was about chores. I like doing housework because it’s time for my brain to decompress. Multiple women have said that doing housework was a red flag and must mean I’m gay.

    More than that though it’s very odd how common toxic masculine ideas are perpetuated by women. Thankfully though it’s pretty easy to spot so that you can move on.

35. Entitlement, a lack of accountability or cruelty. I nope the fuck out if I see any of that. Don’t need that shit in my life.

36. An entitlement mindset, victim mentality, and/or comfort with a lifestyle of laziness.

    Life is hard enough as it is, I don’t have enough energy to play the game of being a grown adult’s parent….and ‘equal’…and (sadly) enabler all at the same time.

    ​

    Oh, and a liar. That’s an instant turn-off.

37. “ugh, *men*”

38. If she has kids. Like, gurl, just focus on that and when they grown maybe we can- nvm you’ll be old lmao

39. Not sure. I haven’t had a woman genuinely interested in me

40. honestly if she is actually and truly “genuinely interested” in me, i don’t think based on that she would do anything to make me to lose appreciation for her.

41. Personality or Lying especially if it is something small.

42. If she smokes cigarettes or vapes.

43. If she’s a bitch

    I mean it is pretty simple.

44. The genuine interest in me mostly. I’ve never really trusted a woman who’s been into me and clearly demonstrated it. It goes completely against all my experiences and belief about myself.

45. So here is mine, not being able to show their interest clearly. There is this girl that I went to 1 date and made it known that I would like to see her again, bc imo date went well.

    Her answer was “lets hope so”. Like what kind of answer is that!?

    I did not text her after that, because I thought she was not interested in me. 2 weeks later she texts me again, says she is going on a vacation etc., I asked if she would like to do something together when she is back.

    Her answer was “We will talk about it”, I said well then let me know when you are back, she said “Hopefully”.

    What the actual fuck is that? If you have no interest in me, dont text me at all. If you are interested in me, just say it. It just made me feel even more distanced to her. I think she is interested in me but if she is afraid to show it, or playing hard to get, then it is a big no from me.

    Edit: We are both 28 yrs old btw, so its not like we both have just hit the puberty or something.