So me (23f) and my boyfriend (24m) have had a rocky few months. Honestly our problems started about 4 years ago, but I’ve always been able to find a reason to push through. But since May we have not been doing great and our latest fight has made me realize I think we’d be better apart.
Still, I love him a lot and I would never want to soil such a beautiful relationship by ending on bad terms, but I do think it’s important to break up because we want very different things in life.
We have been living together for 4 years and in the town we live in its very hard to find apartments. I came to the conclusion basically today that we should break up, but a few days ago I started looking for apartments in case things went south (as a safety measure after our last fight), so a new place is hopefully in the works, but nothing has been settled.
Having that said I feel weird just going about as usual if I plan on ending things, but at the same time I don’t want to break up with him and have to live together until I find a new place? Friends have offered up their homes bust most live in studio apartments and since me and my boyfriend live in a 2 bedroom apartment I feel like I’d rather stay here. After all this is also my home.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom after having gone through something similar or just words of encouragement? I’m sometimes scared I’m making the wrong choice, but not breaking up now feels like just prolonging the inevitable
TL;DR: I haven’t found a place to live after I break up with my boyfriend, should I wait til I get a place or tell him sooner rather than later?
1 comment
Unfortunately, it can be painful for both of you. This is essentially a divorce some marriages don’t last 4 years. It sounds like your gut is telling you to move on because you see the inevitable with changes in values. You can take a soft approach and negotiate that might work and I can tell you be ready for any outcome. IMHO when people go into deep love early on and drift apart it can be like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde when they part. Also being together you may have merged assets you may want to make a list to address those issues. Individual or Couples Counseling is always an option as well. Good luck.