I met Ronnie (35f) 9 months ago at work. We’re the same age and both quite chatty, but I feel like that’s where it ends.
When we met, we started having weekly lunches. She’d tell me what she wanted, and I’d arrange via Ubereats to get it delivered so we could sit n eat in our short break.
After doing this weekly for afew months, I stepped back. It’s $50 minimum to get 2 meals delivered, and I more often than not got feedback like “is it here yet, I’m starving!” And “I use **** delivery company, there quicker!”. Never a thanks, or “how much was that?”.
I attended her daughter (4 years) birthday party, and was asked if I could grab a cake on the way. “Ok, I’ll bring a cake”. “Get 2, and some bowls n napkins”. Oookay.
I have to mention, she is a single mum. And we work in different sections. I’m full-time, she’s part time. She’s always complaining that she can’t live off her income, and that she should be paid more. I’ve suggested she try working more than 5.5 hrs a day, when the rest of the company clock up 9 hrs daily. Or, live within her means. Surely someone on a tight budget does not need a big new TV, $300 pair of shoes…
A fortnight ago, we suggested we revisit our weekly lunches, her time to shout. I agreed, we opted for pizza.
She arrived with a small (think: bread n butter plate) size pizza, to share. My coworker commented, “Where’s the other one?”. We ate, chatted. Then she goes “we’ll have to do this again next week, but you’re paying!! I can’t keep affording to buy us lunch!” and walked out.
Absolutely dumbfounded, I am. Like… jesus. If you can’t afford to buy lunch once, don’t repeatedly give out your order.
Last week I had lunch with other coworkers who all get lunch olfrom one place in town. One person goes n gets lunch and pays on each individuals card. “They didn’t even ask if I wanted anything!! Neither did you! Yu coulda got me something!!”.
Unsure if I’m over reacting, or not. I’m usually unphased by contributing financially, but not when I feel taken advantage of.
Would love some impartial internet advice…
3 comments
She’s a user for sure, I’m sorry
You’re not overreacting.
Looks like she is a very good leech from the description of yours. And I feel like you are very bad in stating a financial boundary and holding onto it. I recommend slowly stepping away from her grip. Start by making excuses to not to be a part of this weekly lunch. If she invites you to do something cancel on her on the last minute. Never give her too much time to suggest something else. And slowly start decreasing the length of the time you chat with her. You can also make a believable lie about having a financial emergency and not having anything to spend. This tactic usually repel the user types. Leave draining friendships like this as soon as possible.