How long would you stay with a partner who hasn’t said “I love you”?

20 comments

1. I assume there’s a reason, so it would depend on that.

2. Would depend on how long we’d been together, how serious our relationship was, what had come up in conversations we’d had about this, etc.

3. Depends if its getting more serious. Maybe a few months…? Have a conversation about it. If you can’t be open about it the relationship is not going anywhere great!

4. Depends on the partner and his reasons. If he shows me he loves me, but just has a hard time expressing himself verbally I’d be fine with it. The words aren’t important.

   If he wasn’t saying it because he wasn’t feeling it, I’d probably cut my losses as soon as I realized it wasn’t happening.

5. Honestly, it depends because hearing someone say, “I love you,” isn’t a necessity for me. I know when people love me. Actions matter more than words.

   The only time I’ve ever had an “issue” is when someone confesses too early. I’m talking less than 5 months territory. 5 months isn’t even long enough to be a serious relationship for me so if someone admitted they loved me within that small time frame I just might start running for the hills.

6. I did it for just under a year and a half. He of course decided he did in fact love me months after we broke up, after I had started just dating my now husband.

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8. 4-6 months

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10. I’d last about a month before my anxiety would force me out of the relationship. I would spend a lot of time thinking about why they didn’t say it back to me. It would eventually start affecting my health. Then I’d leave.

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13. 0 seconds. You’re not my partner until exchange of emotions.

14. Of course it would depend on the situation, but ultimately, 6-8 months maybe?

15. Maybe 3 or 4 months after being official? Not really sure though

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17. Going on almost 20 months and we haven’t said it. Words don’t mean that much to me. People lie and say stuff they don’t really mean all the time. Actions mean more. If I feel it then I’m good.

18. Well, I said “I love you” after dating my now-husband for 3 months. He said it at 10 months. When you’re in a relationship with someone, it is very common to be on different pages. You just have to make sure you’re reading from the same book. I knew my husband was going to be very slow to say I love you, but that when he was ready to say it he would propose soon after since we both agreed that we wanted marriage. And sure enough, he got started on the ring like basically at the same time that he said “I love you.” So even though we weren’t on the same page, we were in the same book. If you’re with someone who is having trouble saying I love you, there’s no shame in talking about it. Try to understand why–is it because they’re keeping their options open, they’re distracting themselves, they don’t feel comfortable enough in your relationship to make themselves vulnerable, or they know it’s a huge step and want to make sure it really what they want, or any other myriad of reasons. Just make sure that the one ahead of the other isn’t shaming the slower one or making them feel bad about not being ready. You never know for which decision your roles will be reversed and you too would like to be treated with kindness and respect.

19. I was with my ex almost two years and we never said it because he had strongly held beliefs about only wanting to say it to the person he marries.

    Did he love me? Absolutely. Did I love him? Also yes. He and I both discussed that it was obvious in other ways.

    In the relationship I was in after we said it all the time to each other and afterward I don’t know that I ever meant it. I think personally I’m going to take the more strict route from here on out. I don’t like abusing something like the words “I love you.”

20. 3-6 months. Can’t stick around much longer after that. I’m always bursting at the seams atp to say it and trust me it’s awkward to me when I’m the only one saying it