My partner is a porn addict who went “clean” about 10 months ago after being caught. He had a huge online profile with loads of pictures of himself that he would trade, and would spend hours “chatting” with others, to the detriment of our relationship. He didn’t want to be intimate in any form. 10 months later and he was doing ok. The sex life picked up a bit – not great, he obviously still has his own thing to work through, but it seemed like he was happy with the life we have. Recently, he’s been…..cagey. For a month or two. Things have been difficult, school holidays and job changes mean neither of us exactly look like we used to – a few pounds heavier etc, you get the drift. It’s been a difficult couple of months, a lot of pressure on him at work and kids on school holidays, he complains a lot about no decompress time no matter how much I give him. Tonight I went on his phone ( I know, I know) and found ALL of his old pictures on there, and his old account was reinstated and closed again, but not without a few extra pictures downloaded for good measure. I’m supposed to be going away for a week in the morning and he’s on his own. He was due to come with me, but he’s announced that he has to work so….. Do I talk with him about this in the morning?
Tldr; my partner is nearly a year into recovering from a porn addiction and it’s looking like he’s heading back that way. What do I do?
3 comments
I hate to break it to you but what you are describing is not porn addiction, it’s cheating. Porn addiction maybe part of the issue but it sounds more like an excuse in context. If he was trading nudes of himself and communicating with women or men in a sexual matter that is beyond porn addiction.
He’s not going to stop if he doesn’t want too. You can say or do whatever you want but it won’t change inless he wants it too. He’d need to take big steps like child locks on the internet anywhere he accesses it, not chat rooms, no messangers, no way of continuing to do this or he’s going to continue to do it. He needs therapy to get to the root of the problem but as I already said in context it seems like he is using porn addiction as an excuse to cheat.
This isn’t (just) porn addiction. It’s a lifestyle and he has never quit (or where did all those old photos come back from?)
Sis. He’s not your man. He’s everyone’s man.
He’s for the streets. Please, do yourself a favor and move on.