I’m not the type of woman to brag about how “I don’t get along with girls” and “men make better friends” because I think that’s bullshit and internalized misogyny. I avoid male friendships like the plaque. I don’t want to be friends with men because I don’t have anything in common with them. Plus, most men usually want more than a friendship with me (which makes me miss when men used to hate me as a teenager).
When I looked back at my early to mid 20s, I realized that a majority (not all) of the women that I was either friends with or I wanted to be friends with didn’t really like me too much (or even outright hated me with a passion). I was bullied and put down by a few women in college too (a few that I thought were my friends) and even cyberbullied by some of them (them screenshoting my pictures on Snapchat).
I assumed that the women bullied and hated me because of my lackluster social skills, so I decided to improve my looks and social skills. This didn’t change a thing. I do notice that although men don’t seem to have an issue with me approaching them at social events, I have a hard time making conversation with other women. Some women would ignore me or talk to me in a monotone like voice (making it obvious that they don’t want to talk to me). I find it hurtful.
Before anyone says that it’s because I don’t have anything in common with other women, that’s not true. I share similar interests with other women such as pole dancing (formerly), shopping, beauty, fashion, concerts, traveling, parties, and going out for brunch. I always open Instagram and feel sad and envious when women have glamorous birthdays with their nice yachts/AirBnbs (I’ve had terrible birthdays in which I had no friends to spend it with). I never really was a part of a girl’s night out nor a girls’ only birthday celebration. I really wish I was a girl’s girl.
1 comment
Have you ever tried talking to these women about why you think they hate you or not like you too much? It could be possible that it’s all a misunderstanding. Also, I’m a dude and I hate shopping but I have many female friends who like shopping, and we hang out because we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. So even if you don’t have much in common with men, I don’t think that means that you’ll have a bad friendship with them. If there are people who want to be around you, then why not appreciate the company? It’s not like having male friends means you can’t hang out with female friends.
But in general, just open up and ask why. You’ll either find a way to improve, that it’s a misunderstanding, or that these people are complete jerks and you’re better off spending your time on people who actually care about you.