As the title said, my partner doesn’t want to set their boundaries and doesn’t want to communicate their issues when we do things. I am trying to solve the problems when they pop up, but they usually tell me about them some time after it happened when they start talking to me about how bad it was.
When I do try to talk to them about it they just ignore or lie to me about it to please me. This has happened 4-5 times now and I don’t know how to get them to talk with me about it.
Please help me
1 comment
My boyfriend and I had the same issue. It took time for ne to feel more comfortable opening up about my feelings. I have mental illnesses and I’m really bad at saying no. He’s been talking to me about this and telling me its okay if i dont want to do things he wants to. At first it was hard. Felt like if i didn’t do things he wanted to, id lose him. Now I still sometimes freeze instead of saying no (he usually feels it and stops whatever he is doing/saying and asks me if im okay, makes me feel really safe and comfortable) but I’m trying my best to say no&talk about my struggles in our relationship.
How long is your relationship? Maybe they have truma from past relationships (not just romantic). Try to talk to them. They might be silent but still make sure you make them feel safe, will take time but when they realize they are in a safe space they will feel more comfortable and open up.
ps. Also had some angry moments because we both were keeping our struggles in relationships to ourselves then we’d end up explode all the anger. It was really unhealthy. We really wanted to fix things, realized we thought it was a “perfect relationship” just because we hid our feelings to not hurt each other. But it made things worse. At least we’ve got our lesson lol.
Didnt mean to write a whole comment about my relationship but wanted to let you know i get both of you and its nothing that can’t be dealt with.