I’m a 25 old male, living in America. I’ll be 26 In two weeks and I must say I completely feel lost and have no clue what I want to do with my life. I don’t have any goals or ambitions in life and the only thing that gives me hope is the knowledge that one day we will die, and this life isn’t eternal.
I walked out in my Job a few days ago because I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I would say my biggest dream has always been to travel the world but besides that’s I don’t have any other dreams.
And I know lots of men might recommend going to the gym and working out but I already do that. I used to weight 380lbs and now I’m at 235 lbs and really enjoy the gym and meal preparation and all of that.
How did someone of y’all find a purpose in life or get out of a situation similar to this one?
28 comments
Why not get a quick cert in insurance sales and do that for a couple years, stack some cash and with financial freedom… Choices will be easier?
Well, if there’s only one thing you like (travel), figure out a way to do that!
Two other questions, though:
1. What is it you like about traveling?
2. What did you dislike about your job?
Ultimately I got lucky and found a job doing something that I really enjoy doing that I ended up being surprisingly good at. And I love the people I started working with there too, a lot have become very very close friends of mine now. At one point I was depressed and cut myself off from the world and just hid in my home and was ready to give up because I had no direction or purpose. But when I started that new job life got so much better. It took a while still, but I found myself and a new appreciation for life because I ended up working and making friends with people that made me want to be a better person.
Honestly, sounds like you’re ready to join the military.
Join the Navy, become a Gunner’s mate. Sail through seven seas. Become deeply involved in the “sounding” scene. What have you got to lose?
I’ve been lost for years and years at this point. I just kind of make it up as I go along. My purpose in a little bit will be to get lunch, walk in the park and look for some clothing for the fall and winter. The chewier stuff, I try to leave alone as it is beyond me.
What if you start a company? Since you said you’d like to travel, maybe it could provide travel services? Your purpose could be see your company thrive, because it is something that you created.
I was lost, for sure, when I was 22-23. No clue at all about what to do with my life. So I took a chance… I sold everything I owned, took out huge student loans, and went to grad school 1,000 miles from home. It worked. YMMV.
​
>I would say my biggest dream has always been to travel the world
This is my “thing,” too. Hence the user name. But I was in my 30s before I started traveling abroad, after Mrs. 1LW and I had established careers with money in the bank. It can be an expensive hobby, I’m afraid. But if you build yourself a life around the travel & adventure lifestyle, well… there are far worse ways to spend your time and resources.
It helps if you have a freelance skill you can practice remotely. Like programming, or writing, or graphic design.
Start by making your bed
Your life purpose like happiness or confidence is not found through pursuing it. It’s a natural result of making the best decisions for you.
I’m 35 and have been lost for years. I don’t have the money or free time to figure stuff out, and routine has killed a lot of ambition and intelligence. I feel “socially behind” too since it’s so hard to befriend people.
A few points of wisdom and questions to ask yourself from someone who often lost their purpose in my early 20s.
1. Start a journal to help unravel your own desires, thoughts, and dreams, study yourself, ask yourself what do you want from life and document the thoughts that come. I did this in a digital format, to type it and always have it available to add to as I have various “self discovery” moments
2. Thrust yourself into the uncomfortable. We often discover the most about ourselves and our surroundings when we are in unfamiliar or unknown situations and environments, it forces us to break out of our shell and destroy the walls we’ve built up around us. You just have to say “fuck it” and do it.
3. If you aren’t tied down to any thing or anyone, I would absolutely just start researching and making lists of places to go, if you’ve got your passport and enough belongings to survive in any environment, just pick a place, and start over, discover something new, and refer back to point #2. If I didn’t have my son, and other individuals close to me, I would absolutely be a nomad and just travel and take odd jobs wherever I landed.
4. There’s such a vast world for us to find purpose in, it doesn’t have to be here, but ultimately it lies within your “soul”. One of the greatest ways I found purpose was through reading books written by renowned philsophers, psychologists, and spiritual leaders outside of Christianity, that helped me widen my perspectives on life. Nothing is stopping you from exploration through reading right now, besides the excuses we tell ourselves. My thought process was that I was essentially reading the journals of great thinkers who often found themselves lost for purpose and what they discovered that led them to new purpose or perspective.
5. Continue to build healthy habits that challenge you. Fantastic job on starting a healthy routine with the gym, continue to push your boundaries and limits and explore other activities as well, martial arts such as BJJ is a great way to explore your inner self, and be humbled by others while doing so, it’s much more than “fighting techniques”.
6. End all be all, never stop seeking purpose. Some of us take linger to find it, and it may change over the course of our lives but the only way we find out is by continuing to pursue it. Life itself has purpose just due to the unlimited potential at our fingertips if we just break down the social boundaries or logistical boundaries placed on us by this society, and we open our eyes to the world at large. It is yours to explore and discover, do not waste that opportunity my friend..
I wish you the best, and hope that this can help, as it has been part of my journey in finding the same.
I was depressed and suicidal only a year ago.
I got myself a job purely to pay off my remaining debts so at least I wouldn’t be a burden after death.
I threw myself into work as a dishwasher and got promoted to cook pretty soon after.
I’m currently on a quick break sitting in my flat above the pub that I’m now the landlord of with a team of great people behind me who count on me every day.
It’s stressful, it’s hard work but I’ve never been happier!
I think purpose is what you find fulfilling, something that’s a bit challenging, a bit scary and that makes you feel good.
Being around good people helps a lot too.
You are getting slowly and slowly somehowish more used to it.
I’m 36, let’s see if this will ever fade away.
I dropped out of school at 26 and forced myself to figure it out. I went on a rabbit hole of google and YouTube searches for career/money making opportunities that might interest me and something I could be good at and tried each one.
When i finally bought my apartment the only thing i had left was to pay off the mortgage and that sort of made it clear that i had nothing to look forward to in life. So every 2-3 week i just tried something new if I still had spare time. (Gym, Painting, various sports, digital content creation, beer brewing, philosophy etc).
I spend a lot of time doing game development now and my goal in life is to turn that into a career. I had to try multiple times for it to finally click but now it does and it’s the first time i really feel like my life has had direction that i’m in control of. But I accept the idea that this may not last forever (like 10 years+), stagnation is hell and if I reach the end goal early i’ll need to do more or something different. Fortunately i have other creative ambitions i’ve put onto the side since gamedev takes so much time but i’m aware that i’ll probably need something else to replace them at some point as well. Fortunately we die eventually so I don’t need to find an infinite amount of things to give me meaning, I only need to find like 3-5 for a lifetime of fulfilment.
In short, spend time finding a mountain to climb, and once you find something fulfilling, enjoy it but also spend time identifying a suitable backup or two. Also as great as FIRE is, don’t even consider retiring until you know you have something to do with all the spare time.
Go join the peace corps. Spend a few years giving your time and effort.
As for lost finally decided life would always be shit, nothing in life would get better other than getting to experience more violence, hostility, instability, people dying and more useless, worthless fake people. Took on doing drugs, trying anything and decided that suicide and death is actually ok
Not to be dismissive *at all*, but being lost at 25 is fine, my dude (I’m a 38M). Your 20s should be about figuring out what you want to do with your life.
If there are people who have shit figured out at that age, so what? Progress isn’t linear. But the fact that you’ve even *identified* the fact that you’re lost is great.
It’s way better that it’s happening now, than you still being in that job you had no passion for in 10 years time, and you suddenly realise at 35 you are lost.
Just try to enjoy the journey of figuring it all out. I mean, what will happen will happen regardless, so why not try to enjoy it as it is happening?
Good luck, man 👍🏻
Getting in to university and discovering accounting. Never thought I would be going in this direction but I am very excited
Dude, the first thing you have to accept is.. all jobs suck. If they didn’t suck, they wouldn’t pay you to do it.
So your first thing to find a purpose in life is.. get a new job. You don’t want to be a freaking bum your entire life. Look at the job as a way to support yourself and earn money to do fun things. Do not think a job will give you any kind of fulfillment or purpose. Most men will not be promoted or anything like that.. just about every job is a dead end job.. so just accept that.
After you get a job, explore some hobbies. It’s great that working out is one hobby of yours, but look into other traditional male hobbies.. Try things that you don’t even think you’d like. Buy some miniatures, watch some youtube videos on how to paint them.. Go to a woodcraft store and take a class on turning (lathe) . there’s literally hundreds of traditionally male hobbies to do.. A lot of them are inexpensive to try out.. Get certified in scuba.. Train for a marathon.. I could go on forever.. find something that you enjoy doing after work that gives you some satisfaction.
Men used to get a purpose in life by getting married and having families. That’s a valid option for some men still, but the family courts have made that very risky today. The point is not to bash marriage, the point is, men have to adapt and find other ways to fill the void. I can tell you as a married man, being married won’t make you happier. It will keep you busy, but basically you raise kids up, they become adults and leave, you and your wife will “Grow apart” and/or get divorced.. That’s how modern married life is like..
learned to let go, deal with some things that bother me, change the ones that bother others, make good changes. no one is perfect but its cool seeking to be as close
Getting cancer during my senior year of high school seemed to do the trick. It was a very eye-opening experience, and now I know who I am.
I wouldn’t try to replicate that if I were you.
I started looking at the catalog of my local technical school cause I needed to do something with my life. Ended up finding out that my work helps out with college expenses. Enrolled and currently about 75% done with a bachelor’s degree.
Therapy.
Start working on your mental health.
It isn’t uncommon at your age to feel lost. You are a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to dealing with leaving the freedom of childhood and entering into the responsibilities of being an adult. Again, not terribly uncommon, there are plenty in your situation.
You have to keep yourself motivated, not just career but personally to. Wake up, make your bed, organize yourself, eat well, be productive. Pick a goal, like travel and come up with a plan.
You mentioned travel, that takes money and time. What could you do to make that happen ? Set that goal and work everyday towards that.
Maybe you should pursue teaching as a career, that will offer you both income and time off to travel.
Basically, make a plan, be determined to make that happen and get off your ass.
I lived at home with my chronicle ill mother untill I was 27. Dropped out of school, had no job or income. All I did was watch movies and game.
When she died I had no other choice to get my shit together. Went on welfare until I found work.
And when I got together with my now wife I started to give I my full 100%. Applied myself and got a lucky break for a great job.
Trust me on this one, “it gets better”
U said u would like to travel the world. How would that become a reality? Answer yourself honestly amd get to work