I’m 21. Ever since I was a kid, I remember being left out. I was never “bullied” persé, but I’ve been just forgotten or nobody cares enough to ever think of me.

It really started to get to me when I was a Freshman in High School. I had a “friend group” at the time which we used a messenger for, and I remember constantly finding out they would make separate group chats with everyone except me.

I left the group because my depression really kicked in to high gear at that point.

I had a SO in High school whom I started dating my Sophomore year, and I joined her friend group, and for a while everything was good- and then the same shit started happening. Constantly left out, lied to, talked bad about, and forgotten.

I left Highschool with 0 friends, and the same SO at the time. They dumped me Freshman year of college. I was lonely my first year of College, i tried to join clubs and groups but was always left out by the other members. Not invited to anything, constantly left out.

Sophomore year I started dating my current SO who has the same problem as me- no friends. We are INSEPARABLE still now as I start my senior year of college, but we both have no friends.

I write this tonight because I found out the work “friends” I have made a separate groupchat with everyone except for me. Including my current SO who told me about it after they were added.

I don’t get it. I don’t hurt anyone, I don’t talk bad, I don’t get it.

I hate myself more and more every day because I can’t figure out whats going on and I honestly just feel like committing suicide half the time because nobody would give a shit.

I’ve gone through high school and college without real friends and I wonder if I’ll just be friendless my entire life.

7 comments

  1. I don’t get this, I do understand your pain to some extent but people don’t leave out other people unless there is something wrong with them or they are jealous of them.

    My point is there might be something you are doing directly or indirectly which is annoying people and that’s why they don’t want to hangout with you or they are jealous of you.

  2. Same with me, I’ve been struggling a lot about making friends. I can feel that I was being abandoned by everyone, literally, even in my elementary school friends are hanging out without inviting me and the reason I know is that my teachers are there and they hate me. I was a kid at that time and ever since it become a constant feeling that everyone doesn’t like me. I managed to find friends in my senior high but it didn’t last, I had a lot of fun with them though, they let me join their hangouts until the pandemic came and I started to lose my connection to them. It went back to zero friends again. My anxiety kicks in and I can’t even socialize again, pandemic made my social life much worst, I still meet them but I’m not comfortable anymore I constantly avoid them because of my anxiety even if it’s against my will. I feel abandoned again, I can see them hanging out from different places, having fun while posting it on their social media while I stare at their best moments and feel guilty.

  3. Self reliance is one of the greatest tools you could ever master. The only person you truly need in your life for your happiness is you. Spend time with yourself and try focusing on finding a hobby or building a new skill. If it’s having friends you’re worried about, take this time to build your communication skills and get out in the real world. There 8 billion people on this planet, don’t focus on the few that aren’t giving you the respect and attention you feel that you deserve. The ones who will are gonna come along soon enough. Thank you for sharing this, keep your head up & kick life’s ASS!!!

  4. I would suggest you guys to read below book. It is gem for situation you guys are in.

    “How to win friends and influence people. How to stop worrying and start living
    Book by Dale Carnegie”

    I hope you guys remain persistent and don’t give up.

  6. Rock bottom hurts, however it’s not all gloom.

    When you’re broken and at rock bottom you have the chance to rebuild yourself. You don’t have to follow a group or join a club looking for acceptance. What you probably need right now is some you time, and some self improvement time thrown in there.

    I want you to try something. Go to bed early. Get up early. Go for a brisk 20 minute walk. That will help improve your mood and outlook. You can also use this time for introspection to assist in determining the sort of person you want to be.

    There’s more work to be done but for now that’s a good start.

  7. I made a video on YouTube about 10 behaviors that might make you seem weird or awkward. You might find it to be helpful.

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