When you have no long term interest in sex what options do you give your partner?

8 comments

1. I’m gonna repost my previous response from the deleted post because I think it fits the topic well and would be up for discussing it further if it is of interest:

   I’m an asexual person in a relationship with someone who has a fairly high sex drive, and our relationship has been open since the start. My partner didn’t really meet anyone else for a long time, because corona, but now he is going on dates with other women. I am not a jealous person and don’t mind the idea of polyamory or polygamy, so I actively encourage him and am happy for him. So yeah, for me this is totally ok and I’m glad our relationship is working out this way!

2. He has his own options, I don’t need to “give” him any. He knows I’ll engage when I do feel like it and he would die before pressuring me.

3. If I am not interested in sex at that time for whatever reason, they have the option to end their relationship with me and move on if they aren’t happy. I’m only interested in a monogamous relationship, so if either of us isn’t ok with that for any reason, then we aren’t compatible and the relationship can end.

4. Cuddling, mutual masturbation, and the occasional blowjob keep us intimate and him happy. (I’m chronically ill. My sex drive is up on blocks.)

5. This is a way loaded question with a lot of implied premises.

   I’m not obligated to give someone other options because I’m not interested in sex. They know what their options are in a previously agreed monogamous relationship.

6. If I suddenly lost my sex drive it would have to be health related, and while sex is important to both of us, I would expect us both to be understanding in that kind of situation.
   If he couldn’t, we would have to end it. I can’t share my man with other women (or men if he was into that).

7. I’m also asexual. I’ve told my bf from the start that he is free to find someone else to sleep with if he needs too. I even offered to pay for a hotel room. But he refused. It’s been on the table for the past 9 years so I don’t think he has as much of a sex drive as many other men.

8. I completely agree that nobody has to give anyone ‘options’ for sex. If you’re not compatible and sex/lack of sex is a dealbreaker for either party, then splitting up is the best thing you can do. I would not enter a relationship where I either have to be open, or bite the bullet. Not worth it.