I’ve meeting a girl I really like and it’s been more than good. We’ve only met for two times but I gotta say they were a quality time. I’m struggling to make a first move to kiss her cause I don’t have any romantic experience (she’s been in a four year relationship before) and it’s hard to guess when it’s a good time to do so. I know it may be too early for that, because we have only seen each other for two times but what about the third time we will meet. I really want to kiss her, we were talking about a lot of stuff and it’s more than obvious that she’s into me, we sat next to each other and touching each others’ arms intentionally and she leaned her head on my shoulder, I leaned my head back to her head too and that kind of stuff but nothing more intense. So what would you recommend a totally unexperienced guy like me, hoo can I make my first move to kiss her?

26 comments

  1. When she leaned her head on you would have been a perfect time. Also any high point in conversation is good. Make her laugh and then kiss her, it’s kind of like a combo.

    That being said, if she wants you to kiss her then pretty much anytime is fine. Just do it.

  6. Next time you see her, make it into a game where you climb a ladder so to speak- start by putting your arm around her back to guide her, hold her hand for a bit, kiss her on the cheek, this will make you more comfortable with physical escalation. Kiss her near the end

  7. Asking a chick if you can kiss her might seem like an awkward option but it has worked for me many times.

  8. Ok here’s my advice. Asking is good, but don’t just ask her out of the blue. Ideally you lead up to it throughout the date. Start with smaller things. Put your hand on her shoulder or her back as you’re walking around. If you’re sitting and talking, sit close and make eye contact. Flirt with her. Find ways to tell her you’ve been thinking about her all week, you’re excited to see her, she looks amazing.

    Important: Read her comfort level. If she is pulling back when you touch her shoulder, or finding ways to put distance between you, back off. She is not interested or not ready. Otherwise, if she’s flirting back or leaning closer to you, it’s time to make your move.

    Easiest way is to make eye contact and say something like “I would love to kiss you” or “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you” or just ask directly “Can I kiss you?” And there you go.

    If you’ve done it right you’ll be pretty sure about her answer, and if she says no you’ve avoided a bad experience for both of you. Good luck!

  9. Lean in. If she also leans towards you, then by all means, be gentle and express your affection. The first contact does not have to be a kiss directly on the lips. It can be as subtle a move as brushing your cheeks against hers, giving her an embrace, or pecking on the cheek. And, if she smiles and shows that expression of loving the contact you’ve made, you will have your moment to kiss her on the lips, or even better … she will kiss you.

  10. Rush NOTHING! Slow is best. If you think the moment is right look for eye contact and hold it. If she holds it as well make physical contact with her hands, hair, shoulders, or somewhere romantic but do NOT grope. This is a romantic moment, not a sexual one. If you’re still eye to eye after physical contact try leaning in a bit. Again, slow is best. If she also leans in you’re good.

    Think of it like an algorithm. Condition romantic y/n? If y advance to eye contact and personal space and await positive or negative signals. If you receive a specific and articulable positive signal IE dilated pupils with eye contact, puckered lips, and/or she advances towards you then slowly advance. If you receive no signal or anything that can be considered a negative signal abort abort abort!

    Above all else do NOT under any circumstances force or rush anything. If the mood isn’t there it will not happen and there is nothing you can do to change that. If the mood is there you’ll know.

  12. This really, really depends on your personality and attitude. Any suggestion could be good for someone and awkward for the rest of the world. i.e., a girl who’s been on two dates with me would definitely find me asking kindly for a kiss an ingenuine move; if I were insecure about her willingness to kiss, I’d joke heavily about kissing – making sure not to come off as threatening – and see how she engages in the joke. At the same time, if you’re usually very open about your sensitivity and you’re not an imposing kinda guy, asking might actually be the route, just make sure you don’t make too much of a big deal about it and you don’t just drop it out of the blue: making conversation about intimacy might be a good start. I think you’ll know when the timing is right, don’t second guess yourself.

    (sorry for my English, not a native speaker; good luck!)

  13. Just do it.
    You can talk about it with the girl first if that makes the situation more comfortable. The important part is trying.
    No advice is going to guarantee you a perfect outcome.
    You’ll figure it out, good luck.

  15. I’ll tell you how i kissed my last gf.

    I planned every detail.
    We went on a date, we ate good and then we went for a walk. In the front of the big Christmas tree from the city centre I put my hands around her waist and I told her “I want to tell you something”, and instead of telling her, I leaned into the kiss and so she did.

    My advice: don’t really ask her, it’s awkard, just make it obvious that you want to kiss her and also add a little surprise/spark into it. Don’t be basic. You’ll always remember your first kiss.

  18. I was there a couple of days ago, 4rd date and didn’t know what to do to kiss her, so I asked her and she said yes. After that I asked her what if I did it without asking, she said she would had been ok with that and she was actually expecting it a lot of time ago xD

  20. You could just ask her that way you get her consent.Just look her in the eyes and say “may I kiss you ?”

  21. If she is receptive to all of your physical advances then I would say go for it. She’s probably expecting it. If she moves away when you put your arm around her or shows other signs of disinterest, then she needs to warm to you a bit more. You’ve got to take social risks to move forward in a relationship. If she rejects a kiss, then it will be awkward for both of you. Then I’d probably dump her ass.

  24. Well that is easy in your case the times you are touching eachothers arms while flirting and when she is leaning her head on you after a while when you feel that tension settle and get comfortable get her attention so you have eye contact and she can see what you are doing, then you can ask in what ever way you like. Just don’t be nervous or scared of rejection if you don’t have that energy behind your voice I would be shocked if you got no for an answer. Essentially the confidence to make a move comes from being OK with rejection and not fearing it. A no could be for any reason and doesn’t last forever, if you get comfortable with judging social queues you can do the whole not having to say a word deal and play the physical tension dance of trying to judge if she wants to or not. You got to be able to feel the moment where there is tension between you two and be able to break the tension based on her reactions for that but first time kissing it should be fine to ask my guess is she has already been waiting for you to make a move at this point given how she’s comfortable with leaning on you lol

    But just keep in mind it’s not what you do it’s how you do it got to get yourself comfortable with the idea, don’t let excitement rush you, and learn to not be embarrassed about what you want while respecting the other person’s decision on whether or not they will let you have it. Essentially if you let rejection of a kiss go to your head and it shows it comes off as valuing the kiss over the person, if you hope for a yes and feel emotionally secure enough to handle a rejection without it killing the mood or the relationship with that person not only does it give you a chance later but it improves people’s view of you as a person snd builds trust which is key for attraction.

    Get the handling rejection part down mentally and emotionally then making a move becomes easy, master social queue recognition and you will pretty much be able to read minds sounds manipulative in a sense but it’s just explaining what people tend to do naturally when we pay attention where in dates most people are too nervous and self conscious to be aware of these things. Try things pay attention to the other person and just make sure they can see or know what you are about to do so they have time to process it and decide they want to do it or not and accept the outcome as if it never matered.

  25. I always just cockily ask. In the right setting, if we’ve had a few drinks and we’re sitting next to each other I’ll just say “shall we have a kiss and see what happens”
    If we’re Sat on a bench by the sea having ice cream I’ll just say “shall we have our 1st kiss Sat at the beach” say it in playful way, they always say yes. And if they don’t that’s cool, you know their not into you

  26. You MUST kiss her next time. Everything says she wants you to kiss her. When you do not kiss her soon, she wil even loose interest in you. Give her slowly a kiss on the cheak. When she does not go away from you with her head, put your hand behind / on her head, slowly pull it to you and kiss her on the mouth.

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