I(17m) feel more comfortable to be myself and engage more freely in conversation with people that are younger than me, even by a year. If we’re the same age or they’re older I feel more self conscious and don’t feel as comfortable. I think it’s a psychological, because any sense of superiority I feel over someone makes me feel more comfortable. Not that I think I’m superior to anyone, I just think it’s something with the power dynamic. For example if I were trying to socialize with someone more introverted than me, I would feel more comfortable than if they were less introverted than me. Maybe there’s a way I can trick my brain into giving myself a sense of importance.
I also find it hard to talk in groups of more than 3 people. Some people can just dominate group conversation and I don’t understand how. I feel like there is no time for me to speak and I feel more uncomfortable with more people. I know this is pretty common for a lot of people but I find it strange how I can connect with someone one on one but with no one in a group. If it’s just me and another person I’m sort of forced to speak since no one else will and I can focus on one person.
Are there any strategies or tips to improve at socializing with these problems? I’m going to University in 2 weeks and I want feel more comfortable engaging in conversation to make new friends.
1 comment
Maybe you focusing on that power dynamic and that feeling of superiority is part of what’s giving you a hard time.
when conversing with people try being actually invested in what they say and analyze their characters and point out little habits and quirks they have.
A lot of those “out there” older people have a lot going on in their life or had a lot of experiences and they just wanna talk about themselves and aren’t that much interested in other people so as long as you continue showing interest in them.
It sounds like a fakeass thing to do but it works and eventually they will keep talking to you because you give them validation and over time you manage to show your character too and naturally you’ll start being friends even if their a few years older
I’m also young and I have friends that are up to 6 years older than me and it feels very nerve wracking when they start to go on about things I don’t understand but I’ve recently learnt not to shy away and instead be interested and ask questions and It’s amazing how much I’ve come to understand and I’m beyond grateful for the knowledge that I receive talking or observing people who are older than me.
I think you need to realize that you are a great person with great qualities (I’m hoping) and you need to walk with your back straight and head up and know that no one is actually intimidating when u realize that age has nothing to do with maturity and perfectly grown adults act like kids too sometimes