Moving to AZ alone and only telling a select few people

8 comments

1. A fact is a fact, and a good point is a good point.

   It is up to you whether you are influenced or not.

   If you want to go, go.

   I do think you owe your GF ample notice.

   I wouldn’t pick Arizona. The government there has been trying to thwart the ability of Americans to vote. If it isn’t an anti-choice state already, it might soon become one.

   The government was/is hostile toward safety measures for the pandemic.

   It doesn’t sound like a good state to live in during a time of crisis.

2. Do you want to break up with your gf?

3. Listen to yourself.

   Believe in yourself.

   If this feels right, strike while the iron’s hot.

   Is 6 mos soon enough?

4. If it’s something you want to do, now is the time to do it. You don’t have kids, you rent, and it sounds like your GF is more of a problem than a partner. Just make sure you’re financially prepared for the cost (cost me around 12k to move cross country) and emotionally pepared for the isolation you’ll feel in the beginning.

   To the point of isolation, the advice I can give you is your hobbies: have some and be sure you’ll be able to keep yourself busy with them. Additionally, your hobbies are a great way to meet new people and develop a social network.

   Arizona is a nice state, close to other beautiful areas like Utah and Colorado. I see someone else warning you about the politics. I wouldn’t worry about it unless your politics are a core component of your identity or if you are bothered by opinions different than your own.

   I don’t know anything about the cities in Arizona, I’ve only been to the national parks/forests. If you’re someone who isn’t into outdoors activities you may want to search for cities you’ll like vs. states you’ll like.

   Edit to add: when I moved I gave people about 1 month notice.

5. Well, I’d let your loved ones know for sure (that includes your GF). As someone who’s lived in AZ most of their lives, it’s not a terrible place to live if you can survive the summer. Transit here is shit so have a reliable car.

6. If you’re seriously considering it, I’d start to look for jobs now. You may even get some relocation assistance from a new company which would be a nice perk. I’d get familiar with the housing prices there rent or buy just so you’re aware of what kind of income you would be taking home. It sounds like you and your gf are probably going to split up, so look for an area that’s good for young singles.

7. Advice. If you’ve been thinking about it, thinking more about it isn’t going to do you any good. Commit. And when you’re there, make it work.

   Lawn care, winters, etc. That’s superficial. You’re moving off to your own frontier. You have no prior networks and social image and expectations to meet, so make this a clean slate and reinvent yourself to be whomever you want to be.

   I’ve moved like this once and even went so far as to give myself a new nickname. Not because I didn’t like my birth name, but because I thought ‘why the hell not’ and came up with one I liked and described who I felt I was. ‘Friends call me (whatever)’. I picked up new hobbies, made new friends, etc. Really experimented with life to the point when I came back home, people hardly recognized me. Overall, it was the one of those inflection points in my life that showed me to grow into who I wanted to be unencumbered by others’ expectations of me. Good luck my friend.

8. My wife and I moved to Tucson last year from CA. We really like it here. College town, so not quite as maga as we were fearing, and the weather really is phenomenal.

   We’ve had some trouble meeting people, largely bc I wfh. But if you’re willing to be lonely for a year or two I think it’s a great place to start over.