I (25F) started a job at new firm about six months ago in a male dominated field. I am the only woman in my office. For the most part I get along with my coworkers (20s-32ish M) fine and the general awkwardness of being the outsider is slowly disappearing. However, one of my coworkers (30M) has started acting in a way I’ve been told might be harassment.
I’ve been to his place a few times to play a specific game since he’s the only one I’ve found in this area that knows how to play. Those were fine, we had a few drinks and one time I had enough that I shouldn’t drive so I crashed there and left the next day (this was like four months ago, and only one time). Honestly I thought he was into me a bit, which was flattering even though it likely wouldn’t have gone anywhere even if we weren’t coworkers. However, even though I haven’t been over in at least two months he’s been drunk calling me regularly. During these calls he berates me for my performance at work (literally no one else has complained) and complains about various other topics. He once called me while I was working a different shift than him and I had to block him since he wouldn’t stop calling. I’ve told him multiple times to stop and while the frequency has reduced he still does it. I’m debating bringing it up to someone who’s been in the office longer, since I’m not sure if he does this to everyone or if it’s just me. Is that a bad idea? Is there a better way to go about getting him to stop drunk calling me? I can’t just block him, we use our phones for schedule communication and he’s technically my superior.
Tldr; one of my coworkers keeps drunk calling me despite me asking him to stop and I’m not sure what my next course of action should be.
3 comments
Contact HR and provide the call list of the incidents. Repeated drunk calls aren’t by accident, either.
Start logging all of your interactions with him (if you haven’t already) because he IS harassing you. If your state allows it I’d start recording your phone calls with him. Does HR have guidance on workplace harassment? I’d read up on that and report him to HR once you have everything documented.
Good luck and stay safe
Email him (so there is evidence) the following day after the next time he does this
Dear Inappropriate Guy,
I wanted to recap the call you made to me last night at “inappropriate time” to confirm some of items you were trying to address with me because I could not quite understand you on the phone. I’m assuming you were under the weather or on some sort of medications so I wanted clarification.
Then list and quote his exact complaints.
Then request that you prefer to address any issues or concerns via email or in person so that you can be clear on the expectations because you have been unable to comprehend him over the phone when he has reached out to you this way many times before. I would bcc HR and if he responds inappropriately you’ll have a copy of that too