We’ve been dating for 3 years, and are both still 20 so it might be silly of me to be thinking about this at this age. He has said he *thinks* he wants kids in the future but would rather be with me even if it meant having no kids. I, on the other hand, am very opposed to the idea of having kids, and my thoughts on children would break reddit’s community guidelines to say the least. I am convinced I’d be a terrible mother, and my kids would grow up traumatized. I am worried wanting to have kids is something too big for him to sacrifice to be with me, and that he’ll grow to be unhappy or feel his life is incomplete. I am also worried he’ll come to realize that a couple years down the line, and going out separate ways is going to be much harder had we figured this out sooner. How should I proceed?
TLDR: He(20M) thinks he wants kids, but says he would rather be with me(20F). Idk what to do
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You’re both still very young. Are you both in school? Working? How serious is the relationship? I know you said you’ve been together 3 years, but is this someone you could see marrying in the future? If he said *thinks* and is not even sure about it, it’s not like he wants kids next year or anything. I would still stay together and see how things go in the future. There is still a lot of time to decide what you both want. See where you go and what you want to do. He could decide he definitely doesn’t want kids, or who knows, you could even change your mind and decide you do. I wouldn’t necessarily say silly, but it just seems premature to put so much emphasis on this if it would still be a long ways off anyway.
You aren’t compatible for a long term relationship a Breakup is inevitable it depends on why you are with him if you are with him because you saw him as a future husband at some point I’d recommend breaking up asap the longer you wait the more it’s gonna hurt while wasting your time
I’ve seen this happen on here allot there’s a good chance that he will regret his promise some day which is why I’d recommend breaking up if you saw him as marriage material
If you’re both already convinced of this, then in the long run you’re not compatible, I’m sorry to say. At some point, either he’ll regret not having kids or you’ll regret giving in and having them, assuming your opinions don’t evolve.
You are, of course, still *very* young, and it’s entirely possible your desires on this matter will evolve with time, but it’s something to consider.
I think you’re spot on that this will become a deal breaker eventually, and he’s most likely holding on to hope you will change your mind.