My girl was having mood swings and depression issues and it caused her to be very low when she’s normally very energetic.
She wanted to be alone a lot and I was understanding of it. Not at first though but I adapted to it. I wanted to support her and be her safe place.
She would go a week sometimes not talking to me as much not wanting see me but still being on the phone keeping each other company, sleeping on the phone too. Last week she didn’t message me at all, she was mad at something the Monday but wouldn’t tell me what. She wasn’t mad at me though she said. I can’t recall anything I did that was bad. She also started her period.
I was trying to talk to her, sending her only 1-3 messages a day being sweet and letting her know I’m here. She sent me texts different morning saying “good morning I still can’t believe you let me do this to you”. The next morning she recommended I’d go see my therapist about the last 2 weeks she said. I ask, “about us? About you? About me?” She says “just about the last 2 weeks get a fresh perspective from a professional”
I sent her cute and sweet videos after work telling her she can talk to me about her depression I want to listen and I’m here when you want to talk and lmk what you want me to do to support you.
She set her Facebook status to single and changed her Facebook picture from us to a random pic. I tried texting her and calling. Nothing. She ignored my call and left me on read. I didn’t get mad or anything I just said “sorry I lost my cool there. I hope it didn’t stress you out. I love you and I hope everything’s okay. Talk to me when you can”. Haven’t heard a single word.
I assume I’m single now. She still has her locations on for me tho which is weird.
She would even say I’m crazy for still being with her. She went off on me about how I could do better and I don’t respect myself if I’m still with her. I told her tho it’s okay because she’s going through something and I’m here through her worst times and best times.
I’m really hurt by it. I didn’t want to do anything rash, I haven’t messaged her or anything. I felt like there was something I could’ve done like go to her house, bring her flowers or something.
She still kept trying to play apex with my friend tho and not me even after I asked she didn’t want to play with me. She also texted my friend she’s very depressed. Why did that make her push me away?
She still posts stuff in her Facebook, she still plays Apex like everything is fine. You wouldn’t even think she’s depressed about not being with me anymore, knowing what she’s doing to me too. She knows the power she has over my feelings.
TL;DR – my girl ignored me all week, has depression, set her relationship status to single, has not talked to me. Thinking I could’ve done something to save the relationship.
14 comments
She’s way too much committed with herself. Was together with a depression girl too and basically did the same things like you.
You can’t talk to them like healthy people. All you can do is help her with her illness on her way.
My guy she’s treating you bad. It doesn’t matter if she’s depressed, that doesn’t make it okay to just ghost you. It’s shitty. Why are you down on yourself for “not saving the relationship” when she barely even talked to you? She insisted on running it into the ground. She needs to work on herself. Sometimes you just gotta accept that it’s not meant to be.
I mean, easier said then done, but you should let her her since she’s not doing well and is pushing you away and you can’t seem to help her. It’s always hard to comprehend, but you’ll meet someone that’ll make you realize a relationship shouldn’t be that hard, yeah you should put effort into a relationship, but it shouldn’t be that hard to the point that you’re sad haft the time. Help her if you want, but being with her doesn’t seem to change much. She’s telling you to let her go because you might be less of a burden to her. Less standards to uphold, less responsibility and less worry.
Congrats on being single!
You were broken up with, quite horribly. She didn’t tell you so you had to notice it on FB. I am so sorry. She gets to decide to end the relationship and you don’t get a vote. She broke up with you, very poorly, and isn’t talking to you. You have to accept that. Drop the rope, block or snooze her accounts for a while, and ask mutual friends not to bring her up. I would tell a friend of hers that you are worried she is depressed and ask them to check on her because you are going to stop talking to her until/unless she reaches out.
I’ve been exactly where she is. I was so depressed and hated myself so much it consumed me. I hated that people wanted to talk to me or be with me. I wanted to be alone and isolated and I pushed people away exactly how she pushed you away. I judged anyone who wanted me in their life. I had no control over any of these feelings or emotions, so I just accepted the consequences. I was alone until I was ready not to be. You can keep occasionally letting her know you are there for her, but you are now at the point where caring for her will probably come at the expense of your sanity. If you want, let her know you have open arms if she ever wants to come back and very sporadically check in, but otherwise give her the space she’s craving. Hopefully she’ll get passed this. Good luck to both of you.
If she wants to be single, help her out.
She is probably tired of your simping. They like a chase and she already knows she has you. If they don’t have drama they will create some.
Dump her like a morning dump after you drank from the Ganges river
She ghosted you. She is a hot mess who couldn’t deal with giving you a clear “it’s over” so she did this instead.
If she comes and begs you to take her back Don’t Do It. She shouldn’t be dating anyone for a long time.
I’m sorry.
Dude, she set her status on FB to single. I know a married girl who did the same thing to her husband. The girl I know is literally not even legally separated and kicked her husband out of their house, and now has her new man sleeping there. Girls like that should be avoided. Trust me, she is doing you a favor. I wish you the best…
I’m sorry this happened to you, man. As hard as it is to hear, you got dumped. They used to call it the “slow fade” – now they’d call it “ghosting.” She talked to you less and less, ignored your messages, and then set her profile to single. She has decided you are no longer her boyfriend.
I know you just want to help her, and you care about her, but I would let her go if I was in your shoes. Continuing to attempt to be there for someone who is not there for you will only do damage to your own mental health.
enjoy your life. think of this as freedom ffs.
you deserve love , not this. i hope you find the courage to leave even if she’s already left. i would text her that it’s fine if she has depression but this is not how depressed people act that’s how people with bpd act and they need more help than a lot of people. choose you.