So my (f18) only partner is my ex of two years who towards the end of the relationship I lost my sex drive and almost all the sex was non consensual. Tho in the beginning I always found myself faking an orgasm, but I would convince myself I actually did, and like after sex i would always feel guilty, i felt like i was always dismissed and I would tell my ex tips and he wouldn’t listen, and I would ask him what I could do better and he would say nothing, there was almost no communication whatsoever.
I feel bad for lying about how good it was to him and others, bc the truth is it wasn’t good. I feel like I’ve never had good sex before, and I feel bad for convincing myself I had
5 comments
Your ex sounds like a terrible lover, and it’s hard to have good sex with a bad partner.
Don’t feel bad about it! It’s in the past. Just focus on the future. I hope you find better partners! They’re definitely out there.
I didn’t have good sex until I was 28 years old. It takes time and communication.
You definitely have not had good sex yet. But like Blarsen said, don’t feel bad. Think of him as learning what/who to avoid. Don’t fake orgasms to make someone feel better. Nothing wrong if you don’t get there. No need to focus so much on an orgasm unless that is what you want. Just tell them it’s hard for you and enjoy yourself. Enjoy the process. Keep masturbating and learning what you like so you can tell your next partner. You have plenty of time to have amazing sex.
Lying to others and then believing it urself isn’t bad or wrong its what happens when u try and make everyone around u happy and forgetting to include urself. Stop leaving urself for last.
It’s entirely possible, even probable for an 18 year old to have never had truly good sex.