Hi people….hope you all are doing great. Before I proceed to describe everything, let me give a brief background of what I’m going through currently.
Dec 2020 I had been talking to a guy over texts (met him through a matrimony app….yepp it is a thing here in India). Never had feelings for him while we were talking. Jan 2021 we met once…just once over lunch. 2 days after that he texted me saying that he thinks we won’t be compatible in the long run and called it off. I don’t know why but that killed me. It has been more than a year now and I’m still stuck on him. Got to know that he is getting married and this is killing me more. I have gone no contact, have deactivated all my socials and putting all my energy into my work. Since, then I have not been able to have feelings for any guy out there. No one. I’m not able to think about anyone else but him. Yes I know I’m wasting my time and probably I’m stupid….but it is what it is.
Now coming to this year, a month back, met another guy (32M). Since then we have been talking regularly. He is a really sweet and nice guy. Genuinely nice guy….! He has been including my opinions in decisions that he is making (he is about to switch jobs and has quite a few options at hand), have been wanting to know the kind of future I want to have…as I said….warm, sweet and a very humble person. One day I told him abotu my situation and honetly, any other guy would have thought that since I haven’t moved on it’s not healthy to be with me as I might be wasting their time. But this guy, he made me understand a lot of things. Still he is talking to me everyday, asking about how my day was etc. I too talk to him but I still don’t have any feelings for him. Apart from this, despite him being a very nice guy, there is a difference in our lifestyle and I’m not saying this in a demeaning way. I am the kind of person who is materialistic, I like to dress up nice, stay groomed…..and he is more of “I’m okay with anything”. I like to havegood living standards, beautifully decorated homes etc and he is “I’m okay with anything”.
People here who are married, have you married someone with absolutely different kind of lifestyle and choices? How didit turn out? Does it really affect the relationship?
But before that, I know I am 30 and probably time is running out. I don’t know if I’d again find a good guy or not (yes I know people might say that I’m being selfish and if I marry him I’d ruin his life but believe me…..I do want love him but somehow I’m not able to). I’m still stuck.
Please help me…..please