I’ve lately discovered some new fantasies id like to try with my boyfriend. However, it kind of ruins the authenticity for me when I tell him what to say and he later just repeats it like a parrot.

Do you have a way of expressing what you want him or her to do without ruining that said authenticity?

4 comments

  1. I think, in the long run, it would be best to simply tell him about your fantasies. Yes, maybe the first few times he’ll just parrot what you told him, but after a while he’ll become more comfortable and authentic.

    In other words: I think it’s best to treat the first few times that you live out your fantasies as practice instead of hoping it will be exactly as you imagined it, right away. It’s really unlikely that you could somehow explain to him in detail what you like, without doing so explicitly.

  2. I like to put things in to an email. That way your partner has time to take in your request, process it, and figure out how to incorporate it in your time together rather than being on the spot with it.

  3. What you’re saying is very vague but I’ll assume these are fantasies built around specific scenarios and key words you like to hear.

    You don’t want to tell what to say because that will ruin it
    Fair point. So focus on setting the scene and how you want him to make you feel and then trust him to come up with his own words.

    I’ve found my partner will always come up with something I hadn’t thought of and is better than what I had thought of.

    Try not to replicate the actions, more the feeling. Life is not a fantasy and it’s fine

  4. I’d set it him like homework. Sit him down and say ‘I’m really into X, and it’s been a turn-on since X and I’d really like to incorporate it into our sex life. But, for it to turn me on, it’s got to feel natural and not like you’re just doing/saying X exactly as I told you. It’s got to feel natural, like it’s coming from you. So I’d like you to go and explore X, read about it, watch it and then try it out’

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like