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29 comments
  1. They become extremely angry at the flip of a switch if they don’t get their way.

  2. Ah, this is the greatest threat in a relationship.

    If you suspect it, its there and you should bail.

    Many people in these times will actually tell you like theyre an advertisement for treatment. Listen to them. Even if it isnt true them pretending it is is already a problem.

    The one to watch for is the Dark triad and most importantly the sneaky damned Narcissists. They’ll overwhelm your defences with what they think you want until they feel secure. Then the fun starts.

  3. They act childish. They require instant gratification rather than long-term, they throw tantrums and just in general act like a baby. Thanks but no thanks, I’m not into emotional pedophilia.

  4. Generally people that are actually abusive (cluster Bs for example) will throw out a fishing line early and see how you respond. They will say something too intense for the occasion, and see if you make it your responsibility to fix. For example, if you hear this on a first date, look out

    “Every person I have ever dated has cheated on me”

    “Why bother going on a date? You will just lose interest in two weeks”

    “My father molested me when I was young”

    Obviously I am making HUGE generalizations here, so don’t take any of this personally.

    What they are looking for with these statements is for you to jump in and be the solution to their problem. “I am sorry to hear that” will send them running to the hills. “I would never leave you” or “all those guys were assholes” is what they are looking for.

    And then there is love bombing too.

  5. Unable to manage their life leading to it being out of control, symptoms are usually flakiness, unreliable, always running late or putting out fires, not having good habits/taking care of themselves (I.e. sleep routine, eating healthy, exercise, etc.), not taking accountability for their actions, going to extremes emotionally quickly (no regulation)

  6. Constantly testing you. I dated one girl that would “test” me with comments about meeting up with ex-boyfriends, missing her period, restarting her dating app, etc. All to test my reaction.

  7. If you are sleeping and then wake up and she is crouched on your headboard slowly lowering a pillow over your face with a maniacal look on her face maybe it’s time to start asking questions I think?

  8. Her :”My period is late, I might be pregnant” when it isn’t that time of the month yet

    Also her: “I was just testing you to see how you’d react”

  9. Quick to anger over non-issues, switches it up immediately to being the victim, guilt tripping you for not reacting to her irrational nonsense, too many tears and still no clear explanation as what the actual problem is, self deprecating statements e.g. “you don’t care about me”, she wants you to beg now and reassure her, now she’s using internet buzzwords like “you’re invalidating my feelings”, goes off in a huff, if you don’t chase her like a fool she gets mad. She breaks up with you then gets angry if you don’t bombard her with groveling texts.

    This vicious cycle never ends until you wise up and get off the crazy train.

  10. Not communicating needs and expecting others to read their mind.

    Not communicating feelings.

    Catastrophizing everything.

    Not talking, not feeling, lack of trust.

    They’re unable to cope with day to day activities/responsibilities.

    They can’t stand being alone.

    Always quick to criticize others but not look at one’s self.

    Those are all examples.

  11. Silent treatment.

    Coupled with the expectation you will beg to communicate as atonement for some perceived slight. In the words of the great J Croce “if that’s the way you want it, that’s the way I want it more.” I’m out.

  12. Love bombing. It feels too good to be true because it usually is. It’s a classic early sign that you are involved with someone with a personality disorder.

  13. From personal experience, I suppose the clearest indication was when she buried a 10 inch meat knife into a plasterboard wall about 2 inches from my head. Then slammed the back door in my face so hard the little squared safety glass exploded out of it and all over me. Those were definitely signs of something up.

  14. Nothing is ever their fault. They are always the victim if something bad happens, or the hero of whatever story they tell.

  15. Non-confrontational to the point where they refuse to confront their self even when they acknowledge that they have issues.

  16. They act like they are gods gift to the world. They act like you have all these problems you need to fix about yourself but when it’s time to discuss things they need to change they don’t believe that anything could be wrong with them. Goal post movers, even if you fixed all the problems there will be a new list posted on the wall it’s like a school assignment that never ends.

    Another thing is something feels off but u can’t put your finger on it or your never at ease around this person.

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