For the past two years, I was a complete mess. I lost myself to self-loathing, depression, the full 360 doom & gloom experience. I tainted a lot of my relationships, stopped exercising, had a difficult time working.
I was trying to be better, God knows, but nothing seemed to work. I have gone mad and hopeless. I got addicted to self-harm. I would try to improve out of shame. That was my main motivator — shame. No wonder it didn’t work!
How did I get out of the funk, exactly? It was a holistic approach & a multitude of ways, but ultimately it boiled down to self-compassion and self-love.
Self-love was what drove me to take the time to heal when I got laid off from work.
Self-love was the reason why I started taking antidepressants.
Self-love is the reason why invest my savings in therapy and eye-movement desensitization reprocessing (a trauma psychotherapy technique).
Self-love is why I exercise 5x a week and started building better habits like watching helpful channels like School of Life.
How did I learn to love myself?
I faked till I made it. I began writing good things about myself everyday until I started believing them. I processed my childhood trauma and realized it wasn’t my fault. I started becoming my broken side’s/ inner child’s comforter and friend. I started to invest myself, in my own healing for my own benefit, which consequently benefitted my loved ones.
For those struggling, hang in there. Start loving yourself. I know it’s hard, but try to even though it feels forced. Eventually, it will be sincere.
29 comments
you inspire me, op
Yessss love this post in this sub. Need more of this around here.
Congratulations 🍾…. I’m about to be like you
Thank you for writing this. You seem like a great person. What kind of things would you write about yourself? I need ideas lol
I had a similar experience! I had so much self-hate that I couldn’t stand myself; but I faked it ’til I made it, and I wish it were easier to convince other people that it is absolutely possible to TEACH yourself to LOVE yourself. It’s a process of pain and feeling like you’re lying to yourself sometimes, maybe it’ll put a bad taste in your mouth because you don’t feel worthy of your own compliments; but it will pay off. It will work, it just takes time.
Love the spirit that you guys didn’t give up. That’s the key to your success.
Being more easy going on self in your journey to self improvement transforms that way we behave with others as well .
Had me in the first half, ngl
I thought this was unironically a narcissus kind of post
What an awesome thing to stumble upon. Thank you for sharing. And I think the two of yous make an absolute perfect pairing. Also, there’s another human who loves you too. I’m so happy for you. 🙂
Love this
I’m proud of you. But please, school of life is just a bunch of fluff. It isn’t scientific, not based on anything, never sites any sources and the narrator just says whatever he feels like saying. I used to watch it until i realized it is a major waste of time. And same goes for many other self-help channels tbh.
Thank you for sharing I really need to hear stuff like this. Struggling with loving myself right now
So glad for you. It was refreshing to hear your progress!
Fake it till you make it huh? I’ve been reading that tip a lot lately. It’s a sign.
Thank you for this!
Congrats! I’m going through a similar process as well.
I sorta self realized a lot of issues I have are not my fault either. But then that realization turned me angry. How were you able to overcome this part of the process?
I am kinda doing therapy now but its mostly on CBT stuff and not really trauma based.
Thanks bro it is 07:43 where I live and my day started like shit, but reading this gave me energy to try harder to be a better version of myself
I don’t know you, but I am SO proud of you! It takes a lot of courage to do all of these things and most people just end up staying stagnant in their lives. You have made the greatest leap forward in this and you’ll be happier and healthier for the rest of your life in exchange. Great job!
Beautiful 🥲
I was have been feeling pretty hopeless and helpless last couple of days. Even stopped eating properly and had a hard time sleeping. I was continuously overthinking and crying a lot.
Yesterday evening I came upon a post and comments on r/askwomenover30 which made be believe I had to take charge of my own life. It might not be all but one of the main reasons I came upon this decision.
Definitely gotta work on that. Sounds like you built a stronger sense of worth and that started from rebuilding you’re self esteem through you’re good traits and qualities.
Yess, congrats and thanks for this post btw. I feel like many people need to see this 😭✊💅
Fuck yes, found the post i was looking for, logging off 🥰💞
Can you give an example what good things about yourself you wrote down?
Was it more about where you succeeded in for example ‘I got a promotion’ or more about personal things like ‘I bought flowers for my mother and she was happy about it’ or things like ‘i love my hair’?
Same thing! Couldn’t stand myself. Told myself I needed to be more of this, or more of that, and only then could I be happy.
The truth was, is that I always had people that loved me, so it was time to start loving myself and to actually see the person I am through their eyes. And what a difference it’s made so far!
This was amazing to read. Thank you for sharing and I hope your journey and self love both continue to flourish !
Wow!! This is awh inspiring and hopefull!!!
Thank you. You have no idea how much I was struggling today and this is exactly what I needed to head. Thank you
thank you for this.
I remember feeling the same way back in 2017, i didn’t need another human to validate my existence or tell me shit. I was so powerful. I lost all the love i had for myself 2 years ago and i have been extremely miserable since 🙂